Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Dating Via the World Wide Web

Some friends of mine & I recently ranked the #1 - #5 bad ways to break up with someone. We decided that breaking up with someone via the fax was probably the #1 worst way to break up with someone. I hear Sly Stallone did that with his current wife...but obviously they're back together...so maybe that says something for the fax breakup. # 2 would be in a letter. A letter doesn't give the person a chance to write back right away. It creates a safety zone of a couple of days for the person. #3 was breaking up with someone by e-mail. It's a little more personal than a fax because you don't have to worry about someone from the office picking it up and reading it while they're walking to your office to give it to you. It's still not the most personal way to go.
#4 the I.M. is one step up from the e-mail. It's a dialogue... but you'll notice that people generally say much deeper things on I.M. than they do in person. There's a certain wall that keeps people feeling protected...and because they don't have to look at the person as they're saying something - it's a little easier to say stuff on an instant message. So basically, it's a cop out. You can write and rewrite whatever you want to say...the instant message (along with the fax, letter & e-mail) allows you to edit and censor your thoughts. It's less raw. (so more fake) It's less you. It's a lesser way to really connect with people.
So obviously...the #5 worst way to break up with someone is in person. If you gotta do it...might as well man up and do it in person.
Now there were some that were left off the list (asking a friend to break up with someone for you -*this is generally done during recess , and never actually breaking up...you just sort of start seeing someone else) we felt like these didn't deserve much discussion...
This all leads me to internet dating. I guess you could argue that it's a safe first step. The problem that arises with the internet dating is the same problem you have with long distance relationships. People can put their best foot forward in a letter, e-mail, I.M. or even a hour long phone call. We have enough problems with people putting up false fronts in person...but we know that at the end of a long day together - the other person is going to catch at least a glimpse of who you really are.... it just happens - and that's healthy.
A friend of mine asked me to write something about internet dating...so here I am...writing about internet dating. And now I'm wondering if they meant the kind of dating where you put a picture and a little something about yourself on some sort of web site???
I probably should have asked before I started typing away...
I'm really pretty impetuous when it comes to these... you'd know that if you spent any time with me.


  1. Anonymous11:10 PM

    sean you just went on my top ten list of favorite people. i like your monologue on internet dating the way you thought about it. i am also interested in what you think about posting your picture and meeting the potential love of your life via the internet. sites such as perfectmatch.com, eharmony.com, and so forth. feel free to procede at your discussion. you and your wife might be some of my fave people of life :)

  2. Anonymous8:38 AM

    the only time internet dating becomes acceptable is when a. you choose to believe you have to have a sig. other to be significant... b. are 40something, recently divorced, and on the prowl... c. are 30, single, female, live alone, and own a cat

  3. Anonymous6:40 PM

    ... curious as to why meeting people in some places is okay and meeting them in others is not...

    Person A meets person B at a baseball game. They fall in love, get married, and love to tell the story.

    Person C meets person D on the internet (they date in person... just met on the internet). They fall in love, get married, and make up a cover story about how they met.

    Why is the first socially acceptable and the second not socially acceptable?