Sunday, July 31, 2005

flood - not a jars reference

My basement smells. I mean it really stinks. Changing your disposal while your wife is making egg salad and son just exploded a diaper kindda smell. If I was to pick a room to smell, I guess I'd have to go with the basement (if we all agree that the garage isn't a room...and how couldyou not?). The only problem with picking the basement is that, for us, it's by far the largest room in the house. We have a Bible study in the basement once a week with 25 people in it. We keep 3 couches and 2 futons (what a waste of furniture a futon is) down there...along with some chairs, a few ottomans and a giant foam shoe that serves as an uncomfortable seat for the last one there that doesn't sit on the floor. Last week we moved it upstairs...but it just didn't feel right. We have a couch, two love seats, and pulled in a dozen or so chairs...but it just wasn't right. Outside can be too distracting. At least once a year my basement floods...thus the smell.
We bought our house from some folks that said the basement stays dry. I think their names were Stan and Irene Liarsons.
I've been running the dehumidifier for 10 days...and I borrowed a wet-dry vac - it's just not getting it all. Luckily the smell hasn't reached the rest of the house - or I'm just used to it because it's always there.
So, I'll spend my day running a wet/dry vac (vacuum is spelled kindda funny...don't you think?) spraying generic lysol, and hoping to kill the germs that have made their way into my basement. Soon it will smell like a field of flowers in the spring....or at least like an old basement with shag carpeting that hasn't been flooded recently.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Only sport in the Bible...

They have weight classes in wrestling, but no height classes in basketball...or volleyball. They have no IQ classes in chess. They have no way of knowing if a swimmer has a particularly webbed foot or hand (they get all the breaks). What about a boxer with a thicker skull? My point really is that wrestling is inherantly unfair.
there, I said it
and it's about time somebody stood up to those machiavellian plutocrats.
o.k., money doesn't really have anything to do with this...
but it's about time somebody stood up to those machiavellian...rules....guys!


I always wondered why super heroes had secret identities.

You'd think that at first they'd want to be noticed. They'd be like the 20 year old movie star that thinks it's cool to be noticed by people on the streets. They don't mind when people ask for their autograph because that means they're "famous". It's not until much later that they learn to hate the paparazzi and the simple people who follow them around and take pictures of them with their phones.

So I would think that a young Spiderman wouldn't want to wear a mask. It'd probably improve his it'd make him famous, and isn't that what it's all about?

Jesus had this problem. Several times I read in the Gospels that Jesus would heal someone and then tell them not to tell anybody. I always thought this was strange. Apparently Jesus knew something that most 20 year old movie stars don't - it's pretty hard to get around town when the crowds are so deep that "they almost crushed him". After I read through the Gospels a few times, I noticed that the people tended to tell others that Jesus had healed them....and then Jesus would have to leave town because the crowds were so crazy. If only we could get this message out to the 19 year old impending movie stars.


I used to think digital watches were the downfall of mankind. There was no work involved with the battery operated watches. No winding. Just the occasional battery...people would soon learn to tell time only by looking at the number. There would be no big little hand. It would be hand-less. Young children would drive by Big Ben and say, "hey mom, what's the big pointy thing with the numbers on it?".
It's been about 20+ years of the digital watch thing happening.
Things aren't too bad.
and I wear a digital now...
you won't see me near Big Ben though....mark my words.
(they oppress my people you know)

Friday, July 29, 2005


D Rose

Danny Rose
- A Haiku
Danny Rose jammies
Standing tall in his onesie
no skidding in these

Whatever happened to...

Are you sick of those "whatever happened to..." lists?
Whatever happened to Soupy Sales?
Whatever happened to silly string?
Whatever happened to Michael Jackson's monkey?
Whatever happened to Tubbs?
Whatever happened to the Y2k bug?
Whatever happened to Yogi Bear?
Whatever happened to video's on MTV?
Whatever happened to Robin William's sense of humor?
Whatever happened to those baked chicken patties I can't fine anymore?
Whatever happened to Hootie & the Blowfish?
I am

just add and stir...

Any time you say, "Circus Monkey" that's funny. You can't just throw that into a sentence and not have it be 25-30% funnier. Neil Simon says that words with a "K" in them are funny. I say that sentences that end in pipsqueek are that much the better. That's just how I roll.

Walter Mondale is not funny.

Voting for him...that's good for a few laughs.

little guy Posted by Picasa


Its sort of odd that for the last bunch of years different teams are changing their mascots so as to not offend native Americans. Actually that, in and of itself, isn't that odd. What's odd is that more teams aren't being pressured to change their names in light of the injustices that their mascots represent. Pittsburgh is a prime example. The we really want to lift up the values of these marauders? Their job description includes pillaging. Do we really need more pillaging in this society? Don't get me started on the Steelers. This all really brings me to something that hits a little closer to home. Notre Dame. Actually, they're hundreds and hundreds of miles away from my home - but the point remains... The fighting irish!?!?

Why not go the whole way and call us the fighting, drunken, jobless potato eaters!

I suggest that we start a million Irishmen March(not a million mick as some would suggest) -start at the steps of St. Patricks cathedral and go all the way to touchdown Jesus. We'd have to have a peaceful demonstration of'd be kindda silly. Maybe a sit in. I'm not sure there's ever been an Irish sit in. This would be sure to hit the third or fourth page (under the fold) of most suburban newspapers. Maybe we could get the A.C.L.U. to sponsor us (they already sponsor my softball team "the Civil Libs" - we're 3 & 7, but we have four games under appeal).
WE WILL NOT BE LABELED (unless it's something nice like, "the hugging Irish" or "the generous tipping Irish" - those labels are okay).
Down with racial stereotyping! (unless, of course, we're talking about the Dutch)

murph Posted by Picasa


a haiku

Bruce, Bruno, B-Dub
what are you talkin about?
Demi, why Ashton?