Tuesday, August 31, 2010

TechnoWeblog

I have a typing machine that will take these words and make them available in Detroit...and just about anywhere else.  I can now get on this "computer" and "type" out words, or even use this electronic machine to"call" people via "headset" and it does all of the heavy lifting.

It's true.

I also have electric wires throughout my home that allow me to remotely access an electical current capable of powering my portable lighting sources and toaster oven.

Before you check the date to see if this was written in the future - there's more.

I have "pipes" that are strategically placed in several rooms of our "house" that allow us access to water...wait for it...both hot and cold!

I know

Here's the rub - I can watch televised programming produced in Detroit while enjoying air that has been conditioned to be colder than unconditioned air...while reading my Wired Magazine and playing Words with Friends on my internet pod touch while singing along with Gene Chandler's rendition of Duke of Earl

But all I'll be thinking about is our lack of trash bags...and how stuff is piling up this morning...

Lesson? 
The grass is always greener on the lawn of the people next door who have trash bags.



it's true

Monday, August 30, 2010

Unbranding

No matter how many times Leah tells me, "The Jersey Shore is my generation's Hogan's Heroes" I'm just not sure I'm going to throw it on my Tivo.

I know far less Snooki trivia than Fuller (it's actually the topic of his next book - sequel to The Sickness - "Getting Better, but still need a few days") but I just heard that major fashion brands are now sending her free SWAG.  The beauty of this is that they're sending her free stuff from their competitors.  It's the ultimate in UnBranding.

They're paying to get their competitors purses and sending them to her in the hopes that she'll throw up in them in public.

I love this.  I love this like Zack Galifinakis loves beard combs.  I almost with I had a competitor so I could send her some stuff...

Sure I could send her some Dave Coulier t-shirts and maybe get her to start a Reply To All campaign...but I feel like there is an even better idea out there...and I'm right on the cusp

Ultimately I just wanted to write a weblog post that ended in the word cusp...
so...um...cusp

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Quote of the Day

"It's better to fail while doing something
   than to fail to do anything"
           -Horace Grant *

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* to be 100% honest here, I'm not really sure who came up with that quote...but it was probably Horace...right?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Fantasy Life

In my fantasy world I have Aaron Rodgers as my starting quarterback and he's throwing the ball to Antonio Gates.

I finished last season in fifth place.  Based on this year's draft I'm hoping for a fifth place finish again...so that's not great.  Griffin wants to start a league with our neighbor Kendrick.  They had their draft yesterday and his team looks a lot better than mine.  I guess it's easier to get good players in a two team league than a ten team one.

I'm in the process of putting together a point system for my fantasy television show league.

I figure you should get points for minutes performed, laughs received, death scenes, taking an executive producer credit, directing and five bonus points for every time you pick up the family pet.
-you've gotta have one weird category to grab attention
(how stupid is the director thing, huh?)

There are a few problems with this:
1.  There isn't a Bob Saget appearance in the works (outside of awesome voice-overs)
2.  Ed is no longer on television
3.  There aren't any pets on The Office

I'll work out the kinks on this later...but there's something to it...

Monday, August 23, 2010

America has talent...yeah it does

reason #27 Why you should be a part of community?
-it's possibly the fastest route to rock-stardom...
video

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Temp

"Why are you wearing a long sleeved shirt?"

That's something I hear fairly often.

"why don't you kick me in the throat?"

That's something I've never heard.

I walk out of my air conditioned house each morning and get into an air conditioned car.  I leave that car to go into an air conditioned office.  Today I had a meeting at Panera and people were complaining about how cold it was...but not me.

I have soccer practice a couple of times a week (coach Murphy of the undefeated Marco's Pizza Team) and I'll throw on some shorts and a t-shirt.  That makes sense to me...I'll be outside and I'll dress like it.  I might even throw on some shin guards and start a riot.

I've never understood like we always have to dress like we're going to be outside...when we know that we won't.

All I'm really getting at is that this was all an excuse to brag about getting to go to Panera and put a hilarious picture of a dog on here.  This is like a Family Circle cartoon in weblog form...
I know
I'm living the dream...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

23 floors higher than I was yesterday

I'm looking out over the not-so windy city on the 24th floor of the Dana Hotel & Spa.  I could throw a kite off our balcony and it would do nothing more than fall.  Windy City?  I think you need a new nickname.

I've never stayed anywhere quite like this.  Oh sure, I've stayed at my share of Holliday Inns...the occasional hotel with a Red Roof...but never one named after the star of Different Strokes.
 
We have hardwood floors and a concrete ceiling in our room.  Our balcony has a view of Canada...well probably not Canada, but the Rainforest Cafe.

We went and saw some pretty great improvisational comedy last night and tonight looks like more of the same.  My hope is to go there having eaten some deep dish  Malnati's with Oprah.

We're living the like the Huxtables this week yo...

Monday, August 09, 2010

oily

I was watching the weekend service (sorry Celebrations, but everyone keeps calling you "service" so I'm going to go with that nickname) and couldn't help but appreciate how far they've come since young Brad Wise joined the gang. 

Keep in mind, this is a happy gang that has only one color...and it's the color of love...or blue, depending on what color love is to you.   This isn't really about gangs, it's more about appreciating how things are flowing these days.  Overall it just feels like a better experience.  Fancy videotaped presentations, lights, stage fixin's, giant vegetables, giant orbs, a pulley system, the bearded video guy who tells great stories...I could go on and on....and...you know...on...
It's been fun to watch and for some reason that struck me on Saturday evening....not sure why...but it's gotta be a good thing...I'm not even saying this past weekend was anything special.  It just struck me that our "normal" is a better normal than it used to be.

I like that new kid who speaks, the older gentleman with the funny hair, the team that puts together the signs and displays, the friendly people handing stuff to me and that javelin throwing giant that hands me my un-recyclable cup with exactly enough room for my Diet Doctor Pepper.  There are tons of people making the whole thing happen and that's why it feels like it's a happening place (see what I did there?)

It's feeling more and more like a well oiled machine and it's fun to see.  Sometimes I forget because I'm maybe too close to it.  I've been away a lot lately because of some other commitments, and maybe that's the secret.

I'm not really sure...and it doesn't really matter.  It's just fun to experience...

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Summit is a funny word for a conference

I'm not a huge fan of watching people speak via videotape. It doesn't even really ramp up much if I know the video is actually a live feed brought to me by tiny men and women in satellites (like those really exist).

-Simply put - I've never been a fan of televangelists and giant projected talking heads.  They frighten me more than when the Bradys would meet Alice in the middle of the night in the kitchen...and she'd have that sleep mask on.

Having said that - I'm a fan of the Leadership Summit.  They're calling it the Global Leadership Summit these days...but who are we kidding?   It's basically a bunch of Americans talking to church people in America.

Having said that - it's still pretty great.(keep in mind - I'm an American who is part of a church)

So that's what I get to do today and tomorrow.  I'm really, really hoping that tomorrow is interrupted by the visit of one of my all time favorite families...but that's a whole 'nother thing.  So I'm off to go see the Ferg...and maybe even a newly married friend of mine.  Could be a great day...

Monday, August 02, 2010

insert football reference here--------------

What has two thumbs and is coaching a co-educational four & five year old soccer team?

THIS GUY! (probably work better if I could inset a picture...)

Griffin will be one of our assistant coaches and Parker will be:
1. the cutest member of our team
2. the youngest member of our team
3. the league leader in goals & assists
4. the daughter of the guy keeping statistics

So I'm looking for soccer drills/things to occupy 4 & 5 year olds for an hour.
anybody have any great ideas???