Thursday, January 28, 2010

Twitter 2.0

140 characters Twitter?  What?!  Are you serious?  This weblog will not be contained by your false rules or censorship.  I will go 141, take a break...

...and then slap another couple of dozen in there just to show you who actually is the boss...

Listen, if people want to say that I'm at least one better than twitter...well, who am I to say that they haven't made an accurate statement?

Fact:  No matter how breathable his fabric was, Spiderman's mask would have to be wet on the inside from where he breathes.

Fiction:  60% of the Murphy family currently has streptococcus.
Fact:  20-40% of our brood has it (not sure on Coop, sure on Annabelle)

Fact:  My back hurts

Fact:  Apparently I'm soft and delicate like a flower or a butterfly.

Fact:  Too much of a good things is still better than too much of a bad thing.

Fiction:  I once slapped Mike Tyson in the throat and then beat him in Yahtzee
(as if anyone could beat Mike in Yahtzee)

Fact:  I'm starting to wonder how to get a hold of Gabe Kaplan.

Fact:  Four out of five doctors are largely indifferent as to what gum I chew

you're welcome

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Seasonal Affective Disorder - I'm not sure I buy into it.  Seems like one of those things people use as an excuse, like Brad when he says, "I'd love to help you move, but I've got the 'betes"

The Mayo clinic claims it's a real thing so I'm going to defer to their informed opinion (after all, they make a delicious BLT).

I'm thinking my seasonal affective disorder is based on television.  I feel a little less joyful when the Office in on hiatus.  I will say that it's nice to take that time to use words like "hiatus", but outside of's largely joyless.  I also get a bit down when the National Football League is on break.

As far as weather is concerned...I guess I'm not one to let it get to me.  You can play frisbee golf (or disc golf to your purist...but get off your high horse, you're throwing a frisbee!) in the Spring and you can go sledding with Griff in the Winter.  Win/Win

I choose to embrace this frigid weather and look at it as one more opportunity to sculpt 1 dimensional messangers of God in the snow.

And what could be better than that?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jimmy is the champ

My parents were English majors.  I've read my share of books and even studied me some of that fancy etymology.

Having said that, I now defer obscure colloquialisms to my friend Jimmy Ray...or Roy...actually I'm not sure what the R is in JR.  I just know that he's a Dallas fanatic and demands that he be referred to as his favorite character.  The other day I used the phrase "chomping at the bit" and he stopped me.  He told me that what I meant to say was, "champing at the bit".  I told him he was being silly and moved on.  At one point Annie was telling me that it was a phrase taken from a horse chomping on it's bit, while I was hearing Jimmy say that it was a phrase taken from a horse champing at a bit, while I was knowing that it was a phrase from a horse chomping at the bit.

Fast forward to my sworn enemy Wikipedia and their cursed know it all attitude.

According to them, "Chomping at the bit" is correct only because it's been misused by so many for so long.  The majority of us have been wrong for so long that we've become right.  It's sort of like how Brad loves tickle fights so much that now it's not so icky.

Anyhow, all this to say that I now owe Jimmy R twenty five cents cash...and have grown a little intellectually in the process.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Just Super

I love the National Football League.  They play a game I love at the highest level, and there's something to be said for that.

I'm just not so sure about the Pro Bowl timing.  It seems like the best players are often the players that help get their teams to the championship.  Often that isn't recognized or lifted up as highly as individual stats.  That's one of the problems with any all star game.  This year's Pro Bowl takes it a step further.  Not only will we not have some legitimate all stars who aren't recognized for what they do...but we also won't have those team players that did the work to get their teams to the championship.
but...ultimately, who cares?

Here are my Super Bowl Picks:
I've got New Orleans winning 33 - 30

I'm not rooting for them, I just think they're probably a bit better than those Baltimore defecting Colts.
Drew Brees will win the MVP if he has more than ten yards passing
Peyton Manning will still be the Hall of Famer when it comes to commercials (and he's pretty good at football too)
Pierre Thomas will leave the game with an injured leg and also be the first running back in the Super Bowl named Pierre.
We'll see 17 taped segments of Hurricane Katrina leading up to the big game.
Pete Townshend will tear his rotator cuff.
I'll eat some delicious buffalo chicken dip while proclaiming, "No buffalo were harmed in the making of this spicy treat!"

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'll see it

I hear that Stallone is putting together an All Star lineup of action stars - Arnold, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Randy Couture, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin and a bunch of other people you've probably heard of.

So my question is - why not do this with great actors? 

Put Robert Downey Jr in a movie and I'll start checking out movie times.

Add Jeff Goldblum, Philip Seymore Hofman, Daniel Day Lewis and Sean Penn and I'll move to California and work as the key grip (no real idea what that is...but how hard is it to hold onto a key?)

I'll go to the movie if it's the five of them having a staring contest.  In fact, I'm bringing Annie...that's two tickets right there.  Take the money you'd spend on 3-D and makeup and give it to some writers and actors...and just make an incredible movie.

Right away you're thinking, "What about Feel the Noise Sean?  That was a great motion picture with an amazing story line and noteworthy dialogue...but it had relative unknowns.  What about that?"  Shut up.

Obviously it's the exception that proves the rule.

I get to take the best looking girl on the planet out to a talkie about once a year.  It's entirely based on the delicate timing of babysitter + availability  x  income + what's in the theaters. 

This year I get to add (+ Hitting the nuts) to the equation.  This makes the equation much more attractive, and puts all the more pressure on the other movie to be awesome.  You don't want to have your two movies to be Pulp Fiction & Beverly Hills Ninja.  I'm banking on this year's duo to be The Big Chill & Caddyshack - Anchorman & Good Will Hunting -

Ultimately I really would like to time this year's motion picture out right, and I need those fellas to get to filming...

So if you know them, I'd appreciate it if you could mention it to them.
(this note is mainly to you Barney Day Lewis)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Reactionary Faith II Electric Boogaloo

There was a time when all of Christianity was about converting people.  It was a Get People into Heaven thing.  Logically, if you knew where the life raft'd tell people.  It's not that crazy, but it's also not the point (in my opinion) (all of this is my opinion) (you knew that, right?  of course you did...why would I even ask?)
It wasn't about the Kingdom of Heaven coming to Earth.  It wasn't about diving into a relationship with a Father who loves you no matter what.  It was a ticket to Heaven and a hall pass out of Hell.
When asked, the great majority of Americans will tell you that good people get to go to Heaven.  Every poll taken in the past 50+ years that asks the "how do people get to Heaven" has the majority of people answer that that is exactly how it works.  Christians don't like that answer because,'s not really what the Bible says.  It's not about works.  We're saved by Grace...and not by the stuff we do.
This flies in the face of a works generated religion.  If we just try hard enough.  If we don't drink, or do drugs...if we don't have sex outside of marriage...if we don't make fun of Fuller's shoes...if we give to charity...then, and only then, will we get to Heaven.
So we reacted to this works based theology.  It's not about how much you much you pray...  It's not a matter of what you drink, who you hang out's not a matter of how you clean up your language, your habits, your life...  It's GRACE that saves you, not stuff and not effort.
And that's not wrong, is it?  Nope, but often it turns into this whole -I'm going to show you how much I believe in grace.  It can turn into a grace contest.  I'm going to prove to you how much I believe in grace by_________   
I'm not one of those legalistic Holier than thou types...and I'll show you.  It's not about what I do, so I'm just going to sort of live my life the way I want to live.  I'm still on the Christian team.  I'll still get to Heaven.  In fact, look at how relevant I am!!
Salvation has once again become everything.  Before it was just about shoving people in the door.  Now it's proving to people that you can do anything that feels good and still get in the door.
I'm just not sure that's the point.  I don't think it's somewhere in the middle either.
It's a relationship.  Sometimes those who love you encourage you to pursue bigger and better things.  We throw around words like holy or purity like they're terms only left to the Pharisees in our midst.  Somehow virtue has been left by the side of the road because generations of people have abused it's inteneded meaning

So we've been saved by faith to do good works...but it's not the works that saved let's not get wrapped up in those. 
We've reacted...and somehow a few things have been lost along the way.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Reactionary Faith

I'm noticing more and more that many of us focus more on the kind of faith, or the religion, that we don't want to have than we do on our actual relationship with God.

Here's what I mean...or what I've seen.

You grow up in the church and see a lot of hypocrisy.  Maybe it becomes more about do's and don'ts, and less about a relationship with God...This bugs you and you decide to go in a different direction.   You know that this relationship with God isn't just a list of rules, so you reject all, or most, of what you've learned.  The bathwater is circling the drain along with the baby...and maybe that's good?

We react.  "They" were doing it wrong, so everything "they" do...must be wrong...right?

We don't want to be like those old school fundamentalists, because they can lean legalistic.  We say that they've lost their way and have revolved their faith around a bunch of rules.  They don't cuss, or drink or watch Will Ferrel movies, because they think it'll get in the way of their faith.  We think they've become more about the rules than the faith (we judge them - ironically) so we do the opposite.

It's not this cut and dry, but I do think that many of us fear being lumped in with "those kinds of Christians" (they make movies with Kirk Cameron, chew on TestaMints, hand out tracts and wear their faith on their t-shirts).  Because the youth group Christians can get wrapped up in the trappings of Christianity, we sometimes think their faith is just sort of silly...or churchy...or based on works.  So we go the way of "authenticity" or simply away from anything that smacks of our grandparent's faith.

We react to something that strikes as too hard, off base or just plain bad.  Our focus moves from something that maybe starts out pure to something that often is a little more palatable...or safe....but certainly not like the faith of "those people".  We laugh at the people with the wristbands, t-shirts, albums, movies and the entire churchy culture as having missed the point.  It's not about pop-Christianity, it's about authenticity.

And that's often where it ends.  We want to be authentic, to start a revolution, to live as modern day radicals fighting the pop-Christianity that's all about filling seats and making a buck!  We will not do that.  We will not be that.

And that's often where it ends...
with who we are not...and what we are not...

Trumpets that shall never call retreat

Friday, January 15, 2010

it all adds up

Click here to help
or here
or here
Text "Haiti" to 90999 to donate. 100% of your $10 donation passes thru to the Red Cross for Haiti relief. Your cell carrier keeps nothing.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Michael Dub Smitty

I have some really great friends.
Friends who were recently married
Friends recently engaged
Friends graduating & Friends going back to school
Friends writing books
& Friends making movies
Friends fighting to keep their jobs
Friends fighting sickness
Friends losing loved ones
Friends moving away
Friends visiting this weekend
Friends taking my money in poker
Friends blowing me off for lunch the other day because of snow
Friends telling me what book I've gotta buy today
Friends hanging out tonight
Friends who encourage me
Friends who kick me in the butt when I'm being extra stupid
Friends who are living their lives in a way that inspires me and many others
And a best friend who I get to love and spend the rest of my life with.
(and friends who don't care if you end a weblog post with a preposition)
I'm a lucky guy...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mac & Me

Forgive the Marley & Me title homage - I don't necessarily want to endorse a doggy snuff film.

Moving on..
Two things Mark McGuire and I have in common:
1.  An upper deck swing to die for
2.  We're on the juice

I'm officially taking steroids.  I took two yesterday and fully intend to take a couple today. 
That's right - I'm on the rocket fuel, the roids, gym candy, pumpers...I'm bringing the gear, taking calls from Balco, spreading the clear, buying the Arnies...
Most of you should probably keep this in mind in case I flip into my "roid rage" mode.  At any point I might flip over a tray table or vigorously shake my fist at someone in traffic.

If you see me crush an aluminum can with my foot or testifying before Congress...blame it on the Prednisone...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

it's raining trashcans

I can't find many deals better than a first class stamp.  I can buy one of those suckers and then use it to send stuff to Toledo, Ohio or San Diego, California...doesn't matter.  They'll just take it for me.  I can spend $3 and send four light bulbs to Austin, Texas. 

So imagine someone coming up to you and asking, "Would you mind taking these four light bulbs to Austin for me?  To make it worth your while, I'm going to give you three dollars."  You wouldn't do it. (maybe you Dave) You know who will?  Your local constitutionally appointed United States Postal Office, that's who.
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor dark of night will keep those bulbs from making it to the big state.  It's true.

Little known  fact:  When the Hope Diamond (valued at over 1 million dollars) was sent to the Smithsonian, it was mailed in a brown paper bag...and delivered by our friendly, neighborhood postal employee.  To be accurate, it wasn't your neighborhood postal employee unless you live by the Smithsonian.
Second little known fact:  My maillady didn't deliver our letters and packages yesterday because our trashcan was blown over by the wind.  Apparently the corner of it was sticking out into the street in the general direction of the mailbox.  Neither rain, sleep or darkness will keep her from delivery...but don't expect her to maneuver around a 4 pound empty plastic trash can.

Carla, can you deliver this paper bag for me?  Sure, what's in it?  The Hope Diamond.  Are there any plastic objects I might have to maneuver around?  Shouldn't be.  Cool, I'll take it then...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Hall of Fame Credentials

Looking for an undefeated basketball coach?
Sure, I'll help...let's see
Bobby Knight? - nope
Dean Smith? - lost track of all his losses
Mike Krzyze%^&ski? - lots of non-wins
Bob Miller? - keep looking
Adolf Rupp? - who names their kid Adolf?
Sean Michael Murphy? Yup

The Cheetahs nearly doubled their opponents score (24-14 a number that would have would be a tragic foreshadowing of things to come)on Saturday bringing their season record to 1 & Zero.

The Cheetahs (still looking for a sponsor if anyone has a connection at Cheetos, Chi Chi's, Che Guevara or Nike).

As a coach, I think it'd be helpful to let you know what I know about basketball:
1. The ball is round
2. It also appears to be orange...typically

No, my coaching style is more predicated on high fives and the occasional beating. Griffin played a great game and won the "hustle" star following the game. Translation on that one - he played good defense, ran around a lot and didn't score.

Season tickets are going fast, but there are still a few available...

Friday, January 08, 2010

Don't snow me in

The rest of the world is on a two hour snow delay.
Not me my friend - I'm on snow early arrival. 

I won't be owned by the snow lady (a great professional wrestler's name in a woman's league.  She'd dress up like a drug deal and be all jittery)

I own the snow, it doesn't own me.  Tell me to be cold and watch my step?  I'll wear shorts and my dress em up shoes.  You think you hurt me when you go down the back of my sweater when I'm sledding?  I embrace that.

You aren't the boss of me (obviously that's Tony Danza)

I am a man who won't be subdued by slidey roads and sidewalks of slickness.  I come at you with weapons of salt and shovel.  Friction and the sun are my friends.

I leave you with this bit of poetry (feel free to snap your fingers)

Snow you white devil
I will not give in to you
just that freezing rain

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Snow Dazed and confused

you see what I did with the title?  What I did here is take snow day (a Chris Elliot vehicle) and combine it with a popular movie from 1993 known for it's Led Zeppelin references and Matthew McConaughey keeping his shirt on.
This post isn't about my awesome title mashup - it's really about the impending white death that will seal our doom in a matter of hours.  Last night we received a call from the Lakota School district telling us there would be a two hour delay.  It hadn't snowed yet, but they know stuff.  As I walked out of the gymnasium this morning I saw a few flakes falling from the sky, and when I walked in the Murphy mansion the phone was ringing.
The teacher has officially let the monkeys out.  There has been 1/10000th of an inch that's fallen and that'll do it for these kids.
So do you error on the side of safety?  Sure, you hate kids?  Why do you hate kids?  That seems kind of jerky. 
Bottom line - I had my late afternoon meeting cancelled, so I might be home tonight in time to do a little sledding with the little ones...and that's not a bad Thursday.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010


I see the same guy wearing jeans to workout and always think that he must know something that I don't.  It's kind of like riding a crappy Huffy to train for the Tour De France.  Once you get on a real bike, it's gotta feel awesome. 

Part of me wants to take a camera to the gymnasium just to record some of the stuff that's beyond belief.
One of those pics would be of the lady who wears a head covering over an elaborate multi-layered robe like outfit.  It's part of her belief system and I get that.  What really threw me was when I noticed she was wearing slip on sandals to run on the treadmill.  As if the five layers wouldn't make it difficult enough, she made her new decades resolution to destroy her feet in the process.  That only lasted one day.  Today she was bounding along with her new sporty Reebok kicks.
There was also a sign up front that read:
In the event that Lakota schools are delayed by one hour, our 9:45 class will be moved to 10:30. if you have to wait an extra hour with your kid to get on the bus - you're going to be fifteen minutes late.
In the event that there is a two hour school delay, class will begin on time. you're out of luck if it's a two hour delay

They're logic was sort of hard to understand, and that's why America has an obesity epidemic.
...that and sweet, sweet Chipotle

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

somewhere between a tweet and Chris Day's posts

I was watching the Rose Bowl (the softest sounding of all bowl games) and saw a commercial for the Master's golf tournament...which is in April.  If you haven't checked the date of this post, check it now.

It's January.  Early January.

My digital video recorder won't let me record something that's not happening for a quarter of a year.  I asked it to and it just looked at me as if to say, "Do you even know if Tiger will be back by then?"  The truth is, I didn't know what to tell it.

We live in perilous times my friends...perilous times...

Monday, January 04, 2010

One Week Church Experiment - Vineyard Community Church

In 1989, I became a Christian at the age of 19. Twenty years later, I was working at one of the largest churches in the country.  Now, I am visiting 1 church in 1 week in order to redefine my faith. This is reflection 1 of 1.
Four words - Loved it!

This church in beautiful downtown Springdale really challenged how I thought of church.  I normally attend a church that has certain rules.  You stand up and sing for twenty minutes, someone tells you to fill out a card and put money in a satchel, and then someone speaks to us.  That's how we do it at my church.  This place was different...

They began the service (or "celebration" as they call it) with a song.  I was out in the atrium talking with a friend, but Annie said that I'd just missed "the best song".  I stuck around despite the inevitable letdown.  Turns out the music was over...or was it?  A video appeared and a young man with a sugar disease popped up on the screen.  Once I got over his voice, I was drawn in by his story and how he wove it together with Scripture.  It was compelling and had the feel of hanging out with a friend that told stories while just the two of you are hanging out.  I thought it gave the time a nice tough to sort of bring you into an overall story that would be fleshed out for the next 45 minutes or so.

   That's when a young(ish) fella stood up and told us what was going to happen next...which was listening to him talk.  There was something endearing about this guy.  He reminded me of a good friend, only with a different shade of hair and fewer SNL references.

      I liked the cut of his jib.  I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it seems somehow appropriate.  He told a few stories from his childhood and then tied them together with Paul's story.  Paul's story was a little more well known, and Joe's was I give the slight edge to Paul even though it's not a contest...or is it?

   Joe described a bully or two from his childhood, and eventually described Paul (Saul) as a bully of sorts.  Paul was killing Christians until one day God spoke to him...which begs the question -   If this can change someone like Paul, imagine what an interaction with God could do with someone like you or me?

  Sometimes we're met with bullies - and sometimes we're the bully, or the problem, ourselves.  We fight against bad habits, bad history, bad attitude and bad circumstances...and yet we have the hope of fighting alongside God Himself.  The hero of the story from Acts 9 might just be Ananias.  God told him to go find the guy killing Christians and pray that he would be healed.  Can you imagine going to someone you love and praying out loud that God would heal them?  For some people that's just what they do - for many people that can feel a little too in your face.  We fear rejection, or the Holy roller label...or just failing.  Imagine what it'd be like to go to the Christian killer and pray for him IN JESUS' NAME.

  Seems a bit extreme to me.

  So I gotta wonder why my faith seems so tame these days.  I hear about revolution in church, and it sure doesn't feel that way.  Maybe there's a correlation that comes directly from how I really view God?

  Back to the church experiment.

  The evening (We attended on Saturday at 6:30) was far from over.  They rounded out the evening with four more songs and I left feeling a bit like I'd just come from a halftime speech from a great football coach.  The music gave the end an emotional boost that sort of lifted me out of my seat and sent me on my way.  I really liked how this church did their thing.

Overall I would recommend this church. They have good looking, smart community pastors, diet Dr. Pepper...and I'm not sure I'll be able to top that anytime soon...