Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I say this with respect

I know he's really smart, but I'm not sure I agree with Joe when he says that the Godfather III is the best of the trilogy.

I really respect how this guy thinks, but I'm not sure Brad is right when he says that "the best athletes in America can be found in every bowling alley"

An argument can be made that Julee isn't altogether correct when she goes into her, "you'll never find an stand up comedian that can make people laugh like Jim J. Bullock!!"

While Fuller knows a thing or two about pointy shoes, I'm just not sure that clubbing baby seals is humane because they "were asking for it"

Buddha is constantly trying to get me to sign his "bring back New Coke" petition, but I'm fairly satisfied with my 2010 edition of Diet Coke.

As much as I love talking politics, when Stacy tells me that H. Ross Perot was the most brilliant man to ever run for office...well, who could argue with that?

And if Micah wants to go on and on about the Left Behind series being the "greatest piece of literature since The Late Great Planet Earth" well...I'm just not sure.

Ultimately we don't all have to agree with Bragg's assertion that universal health care should be for pets and bearded men.  It's not about all of us agreeing about everything...

so let's just agree to disagree...and occasionally agree...but sometimes argue...and every once in a while throw stuff at each other...and maybe start a rap battle...but that really should be the extent of it all...

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

If I knew how to twit pic

It'd look something like this:

We went fronm the Pony Express to Snail Mail...but at least the service is awesome...

Monday, March 29, 2010

There are no bodies buried in our front yard...I'm 87% sure

We received a $500 water bill this month.
That seems high.  Oh sure, we use water to clean our bodies and to fill our glasses...but it's not like we're watering the plants or putting out neighbor's house fires.

So we called the water company
"Hi, we just read our mail...mostly junk mail...a coupleof magazines and um..."
"Yes, and how can we help you?"
"well, it's just that you charged us a lot of money and we don't want to pay that much"
"sounds like you've got a leak"

And we did.  An $1,800 leak.

So the plumber came out, dug up our yard and a bush...and fixed our pipes.  He then threw the sod on top of the hole and the bush on top of the other hole...and left.

Debbie said it looked like someone buried a body in our front lawn.  The bush is in the middle of three other bushes and it's about a foot higher than the others.

By attempting to put back the sod and the bush he actually created more work for me than if he'd just left big holes in our lawn.

I'm just saying that I had an amazing weekend with my brideof eleven years and now I get to experience a less amazing coupleof days paying bills and digging up my yard.  Overall, I've still got a great life...

Friday, March 26, 2010

11 years and counting

Eleven years ago today the Murphys took on the Conrads in Family Feud.

Eleven years ago Aunt Peg showed up at the First Presbyterian church dressed head to toe as a nun.

Five of my best friends stood next to me as we practiced things like...well...standing there.

Ten years, three hundred and sixty four days ago Annie Conrad became Annie Murphy.
...and I can't believe how lucky I am.

                                                                                      (Annie & I at Prom '09)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Welcome to Walmart!

I'm sticking around for awhile, but I'm starting to realize that certain things are probably no longer an option for me.

For instance, I'm way older than most professional that's probably out.

I'm also a little too old to be an eagle scout, cub scout or boy scout. 

I could be a kicker, but there's almost no chance of me being a cornerback in the National Football League.
On the other hand, I could greet at Walmart or even be a cashier!

I could give folksie advice to strangers at bus stops or carry around a metal detector at a beach.

I can't play an elf, but I could definitely pull off being a mall Santa.

I probably can no longer consider being a Mouseketeer, but I could probably be a Musketeer.

Menudo is out, but a solo career is still a distinct possibility.

I'm probably going to stick around with my current gig, but a five meeting day makes me think about all the what ifs...

If only Menudo would have returned my calls twenty years ago...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


It's fairly easy to be paranoid these days.  Question:  Does information = Paranoia?

Here's why I ask...

If you really knew how your food was being treated, how clean the kitchens were, or what was actually in all of the food you ate at a'd be much less likely to eat out.

You'd also be less likely to eat prepackaged food.

You'd be less likely to stay in hotels, or to stop by Fuller's chili party.

I just read an article talking about how crazy it is to put your name and address on your luggage.  Turns out that some unscrupulous baggage handlers aren't above selling your info to bad people who break into your homes while you're on vacation.  I'd never heard of that.

Most of us wouldn't shake hands or make out with hobos.

We wouldn't use the headrests at movie theaters or chew gum we found under the seats.

I'm not sure I'd ever again lend my car to strangers that need to "take a package to Florida"

Never again should I post my social security number online with my birth date asking people which one would look better on my business card.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I'm also not sure that Carissa really lives in Missouri.  Show me state? - prove it...

Monday, March 22, 2010

4 ways to increase sales!

1.  You should try to sell more stuff
2.  Market whatever it is that you're trying to sell.  I hear those infomercials are good.
3.  Maybe mark stuff down?
4.  Sell good stuff that people want.  That's gotta help, right?

I've just seen a lot of ads lately touting the 3, 4 or 5 ways to sell more I figured I'd put out my own list.  I just want to do my part.

I've done some research and it seems like four is a good number if you're putting together a list of awesome ideas to help people out.

This should work with tennis lessons, widgets, flip flops, or just about anything else you're trying to sell..

and...You're welcome.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Q City Players Shows Tonight - 7 & 9 PM

The Q City Players are performing improvisationally tonight and would love to have you join us.  The past two shows at Taza have been beyond sold out, so they've scheduled two shows this evening.

Tickets are $5 at the door...or anywhere else you might get them.  For instance - you might buy them out front, or once you've stepped inside the door...or...ok, I don't even know if there are tickets.  That's not even the point - the point is you'll need 20 quarters, or 5 Susan B. Anthony dollars...or really any combination that doesn't involve a check or credit card, of five dollars.

Should be fun - why not join us?  It'd be silly not to...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

taking a stand

I'm not sure that I agree with Fuller when he says, "There is no one, nor has there ever been anyone, who is as funny as Mr. Tyler Perry."  I'm also not sure that I agree that he is, "our generation's Susan B. Anthony"

I just don't see it. 

For one - if you're going to name a house, should you name it the 'House of Pain'?

Who wants to visit that house?  You could make an argument that Greg House deserves that nickname...but that's an entirely different issue.

Also - what's with naming everything after yourself?
Donnie Trump does the same thing.

Here's my quick theory.
Both of these young fellas went to school with a local hooligan that was always stealing their lunch and saying, "didn't see your name on it"

It's just a theory. 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

saving a few bucks

Annie and I use the envelope system for our spending.  We put out budget in envelopes and when the envelope is empty, we stop spending.

It works for us.

The problem this week is that we only had $80 in our envelope for our weekly shopping.  We're a family of five and that's roughly $200 less than the average family of five would spend per week on food, deodorant, shampoo, toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent and whatever else you might buy at the store.

We use coupons and that helps.  This week it helped a lot.  Coop and I had $120 worth of items but we only spent $40.  We actually have extra money to put into next week's envelope.

I've heard a few people ask how to save money on groceries and other items and I'll throw out a few links that are fairly easy to use.

Shortcuts allows you to load you shopper's card with electronic coupons.  This is a great site if you don't like carrying coupons around - and even better if you do like coupons (because they double)

Cellfire is just like shortcuts..but it's spelled differently

Kroger now has electronic coupons that you can load onto your card.

swagbucks is the site I use for my home page.  I use it like google and get free amazon gift cards every few weeks or months.  This works well for a presents fund.  Sometimes those creep up on me and this gives me a little side electronic envelope.

There are tons of sites that give hints on what the hot deals are - and if you combine those deals with the coupons you have...and the coupons double...and you have electronic coupons on top of that...pretty soon you'll be able to buy and sell Donald Trump three times over.

Ultimately you can spend 1-2 hours a week cutting and organizing coupons - and that can easily save you $50-$100 a week.(depending on how much you're spending that week).  I've actually had the store give me money for shopping a couple of times.  You won't save $100 if you're just getting milk.

For some of you that'd be worth it.  For some folks, it's not worth the time.  It's the kind of thing you can do while watching tv or boiling cashews.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I've been reading through the Sermon on the Mount lately and I can't get past 6:33

It follows this section that lists a lot of the things I worry about - that largely revolve around getting my basic needs met.  I call them the church planter's & missionary verses.

the line that keeps catching my attention is "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I seek a lot of things
-people's approval
-more approval

I'm not sure where God's kingdom or his righteousness fall.

God's Kingdom is so big it's hard to grasp where to focus or aim
and righteousness has been written off as something that just legalistic or comes off as holier than thou.

I'm not so great at seeking either of them.  Today might be different.

I can choose what I seek today - so let's see how today plays out.
and sometimes I just write for me, as a might be one of those days...

Monday, March 15, 2010

It's that time

Why not join our NCAA Bracket?

Solid excuses:
I don't like basketball
I haven't watched one minute of one game this year
My dog ate my homework, and unfortunately I wrote with chocolate ink and now I have to rush him to the veterinarian hospital

Keep in mind - 2 of the 3 above excuses are mine.

It's easy to join.  Click here and use the password "Saget"

Friday, March 12, 2010

Self Esteem = Pride?

I wonder if Clive Staples is right when he says that,
"Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind."

I don't think I was the only one to be taught pride growing up.  It seems like it was all over the schools.  We should take pride in our selves, our work, our appearance, our elf-like shoes.  Whatever it is, take pride in that.  Pride was on the rise - and it was good.

It was taught as the solution to poor self esteem.

Side note - I rarely use or see the word "esteem" without the word "self" in front of it.  Also, I rarely see sharks - but that's mostly because I live in Ohio.

I think you could define self-esteem as having a healthy respect for yourself.  That's a good thing.

As a Christian I believe that you (whoever you are) are a child of God.  I believe you are His favorite.

The issue for me is how I tend to take self-esteem and promote it up to the pride level (fifth floor, corner office with a view of the ocean...which not coincedentally is full of sharks).

Pride can manifest itself in me by trying to prove to others just how great/smart/influential/talented I am.
Don't you know who I am?

You want me to do that?

It's the opposite attitude of being a servant.

Here's the rub.  I follow Jesus who came "Not to be served, but to be a servant"

So the question for me is am I following Him and His example - or doing my own thing?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Woo Hoo!

I have coffee at 7AM on Wednesdays.  It's a post workout ritual that I've worked out with my friend, and workout partner Alton.  We drive to a little coffee shop that's walking distance from the gymnasium -just to be ironic.

Last week I saw a chalkboard sign on the counter and asked Becky (our coffee server person) about it.  The sign read, "Woo Hoo named Cincinnati's best" so I asked, "So what's Woo Hoo?"

What I was thinking was that they had this groovy, Ben & Jerry-esque name for something that was named "Woo Hoo"

Becky answered, "it's a term of excitement"

Me:  Oh get that the word Woo when put with Hoo conveys excitement.  It's just that your sign reads like it's something that won best in Cincinnati 

Turns out that their little coffee shop won the distinction of having the best coffee in the Queen city...and they were celebrating by putting the words Woo Hoo on the chalkboard.

and also that I'm an idiot...

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

All that and half a bag

No offence Facebook, but I'd like to respectively decline your invitation for swedish meatballs, PuPu Platters or any other cafe world dish.

I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure I like real I'm probably not going to milk a cow in Farmville.

It sounds tempting, but I won't raise a child in chocolate town Candyfield

I like where you're going, but I won't wrestle the Junkyard dog Wrestling Planet.

If my schedule wasn't so full, I'd probably consider kicking Pauly Shore in the elbow Kicksville...

I'm just not 100% sure I understand all of the intricacies of the Facebook.  I just had an invite to become a fan of "I bought a bag of chips, not a half bag of air".  There's apparently a group of fans that decided they needed to go public.  This is how social justice is achieved.  You start with a march, you refuse to move on the bus, you stop eating and chain yourself to an object...and then you start a fan page.

You're a fan of that?  You're fanatical about buying chips that are sealed in an airtight container?  OK

Monday, March 08, 2010

Health Club = bad at math?

I talked to a trainer recently who told me, "no matter what gym you pick, they're going to try to rip you off".
(side note:  by "gym" she meant gymnasium)

I'm not sure that I know this to be entirely true.

Here's what I do know. 

I went to a local gymnasium and went with their two week free special.  I used the club every day for two weeks and figured I had a little momentum, so I'd sign up for their "no contract $19/month" memberhip.

I actually took out the little coupon and showed the sales-fella.

He said, "ok, but that's the alternate day plan"

me:  huh?

him:  You could go Monday-Wednesday-Friday or Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday.

me:  I kind of wanted to go Monday through Sunday...ish.

him:  Oh, well that's $30 a month with a $39 setup fee.

me:  Well I figured that the sign that said $19/month meant the whole month.

him:  nope

me:  and this coupon said that there was no initiation fee.

him:  there's not - just a setup fee.

me:  what's the difference?

him:  this is to set up the membership

me:  oh...of course...I'm an idiot

And scene

A year later I was shopping health clubs and took a look around to see if I could find a better deal.  I'd already negotiated my other club down to $20/month...but figured I could do better.

I went to a new place (I don't want to name it - but it's very urban...and active) and signed up for two years at $10/month.  I figured I have a little traction and don't fear the contract any more.  I paid up front and now don't have to worry about monthly fees.

Or so I thought.  They've charged me far.
And the guy I work out with told me they just charged him again.

Now I understand that kinesiology and math are very different...but seriously?

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Blind Faith

I did a double blind taste test and found out a few things.

1 - the meal that was made with love tasted the exact same as the food made without love.
There's no difference.  This tells me that they lie to you on the Food
Network when they say that you can "tell this was made with love"


2 - A single blind taste test isn't nearly enough, and a triple blind taste test is just ridiculous.

3 - Love is blind, so is it crazy to think it also has a lousy palette?  I'm just saying that love doesn't add nearly as much to a dish as say...I don't know...salt...or bacon.  I'm not saying that love is bad, it just isn't bacon when it comes to deliciousness in a sandwich.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Boy who cried book...

It's a funny thing.  There is a publishing company that actually will send me free books if I write about them on this weblog...and yet I haven't yet.  O.K., maybe "funny" is an overstatement.  Imagine getting up on stage, cranking out two minutes of solid gold comedy about airplane food and then ending with the free book bit.  You can't close with that.

That's not really my point.

There are two books in my life right now that I'm looking forward to reading and re-reading.  One I talked about that's available here and one I haven't talked about that's available here.
I haven't read young Joe's book yet, but the fella has a way with words and I can't imagine it not being great. (he'd never write a double negative like that for example)

The other has been read by yours truly and I sure enjoyed the first go-round.  I'm guessing it's gone through a re-write or two, and I can't wait to see the final product. 

The cover makes me feel dirty, but I think that's the point.  This isn't the Bridges of Madison County.  Actually I haven't read the final version, so maybe it's pretty close?  I'm guessing not...

When I read it, it was pretty graphic, and pretending this stuff could be summed up in a 30 second commercial or illustration probably wouldn't do it justice. Raw is probably the best description I can think of for the book -  it illustrates/demonstrates just how ugly sexual addiction can be. It goes beyond that and pulls together a pretty clever suspense novel.

The first time I read it I sent Steve a few paragraphs of feedback.  I should mention that he was looking for this and I rarely send authors my opinion on their books.  Grisham is still ticked off at me because I thought his last book was "preachy"

In my feedback I mentioned printing out his book a chapter at a time to read.   I rarely read books that way....but I rarely have pre-released copies of books sent to my electronic mail address.  It took me a few chapters, but I soon found myself printing out 4 & 5 chapters at a time.  It drew me in, and that's always a good thing.  Maybe it will draw you in as well.

It's for sale, and maybe you oughtta take a looksy.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Quality Time

I can't watch the Wiggles and playing Candy Land makes me wonder - what board games do they reject?

I'm not so good at doing anything with Parker's hair and wonder what it's going to be like when she starts to get really girly...
So far Parker and I mostly wrestle or play Wii Bowling (she scored shot bowled a 156 yesterday).  She's 137 - 137 in wrestling me and pretty close to even in wrestling Cooper.  Griffin is undefeated against Parker and the same with Cooper, but about even when they team up against him.

Now I'm trying to find Father /Cute little girl things for Parker and I to do together.
...and this is what I've landed on.

We bake.  We're bakers.
So far we've baked a half dozen loaves of bread and several dozen oatmeal chocolate chips cookies.

Turns out the kids prefer bread loaded with preservatives and perfectly sliced from the store.  We've used the homemade bread for grilled cheese, Peanut Butter and nothing, cinnamon toast and turkey sandwiches.  They still like the stuff you get from the store better.  It's less dense and they're used to it.
Annie doesn't like oatmeal cookies and we figured 40 cookies would be too many for three we took a bunch to several of our neighbors.  It was a good father/cute little daughter & fun little son project...

Parker still likes whipping up recipes with her old man - now we just need to find one that is a little more Murphy family friendly...

Monday, March 01, 2010

I hear...

When someone says, "that's interesting"
I hear "that's really dumb"

When some people say, "I'll see you at 8"
I hear them say, "I'm going to leave at 8 and I'll be there around 8:30ish"

When I read a recipe that doesn't include bacon,
I think "that's a dumb recipe"

When I find out there's a new Saturday Night Live on,
I think "there's a 20% chance that it will be funny" and then I watch it.

When someone says that we need to get the two parties together in a bipartisan effort,
I hear "We don't have enough votes and we want those guys to start agreeing with us"

When I hear Cooper say, "Daddy, I ninja love you"
I remember that I'm the luckiest dad in the world.

When I hear Isaac go into a story,
I'm reminded that I need him to start a radio program that revolves around stories of his childhood and Cosby references.

When Annie tells me we don't have any plans for the evening,
I find myself loving the fact that I get to hang out with her and probably lose to her in some sort of word game.

When I see Greer in a full Elvis outfit
I'm smart enough to take a picture with my cellular telephone digital camera