Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sticky Bumper

"anti-state, anti-war, pro-market"
That was the bumper sticker I read on my way to work today.

This left me wondering - you can't judge a book by it's cover...and you shouldn't label people...but what if they label themselves?

If they're wearing a t-shirt telling me what they believe, or affix a sticker on their it ok then?

I'm also wondering if there is some gal cranking out stickers with different views on them?
she could just stamp them with whatever someone wants to label themself with...
anti-state, pro-war, anti-market
pro-state, anti-war, anti-market
pro-wrestling, anti-social, pro-vider

Thursday, June 24, 2010


I have been licensed by the state of Ohio to drive a motor vehicle.
My vision is exceptional
and...well...that's about all they checked.

I waited almost a year after moving back from Pennsylvania to get my Ohio license.  We've lived here for almost five years you do the math.  It was time to renew my eligibility.  It couldn't have been easier.  In Pennsylvania they make you bring 13 separate forms, blood and stool samples, a letter from your Senator and three months wages.  In Ohio they ask you to read line five on the eye chart.

I like the Ohio way better, but then again...I have remarkable eyesight.

I was impressed by a few things at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
-They kept things up to date

-They use visuals to remind you of how evil orange barrels almost makes you want to run one over doesn't it? 

-At no point did they inquire about my driving record, it seemed more about cash or check...

Side note - you have one week after your birthday to get this thing renewed or they charge an extra $20.
Second Side note - Annie was born on June 1st, so if you haven't sent her a gift yet...maybe $20 would make a nice belated gift...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

half price

Hello and welcome to Half Priced Books, would you like to sell your books today?, I just carry around cardboard boxes full of 50 pounds of books while I'm out shopping.

There's no need to be sarcastic fella.

Yeah, I'm's just something I do.  I would like to sell these books...and hey, I really am sorry.

This might be the start of a great friendship.


ok, sure...I get that a lot.  Let me take a look at these and I'll page you when we're ready.

5 minutes pass---

We'd like to offer you $1.27

But I have a signed first edition of The Giving Tree!

That's why it's a dollar...twenty seven and not twenty seven.

And what about that glass encased Codex Sinaiticus?

Don't try to shove your religion down my throat sir...

And the leatherbound works of Shakespeare complete with the quill he wrote them with

You must have noticed how discolored those papers were...

And that's roughly what I went through yesterday...which is why I'm now $1.27 richer.  Somebody is getting a medium diet coke with their five dollar footlong!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Things I still don't know

I was off having a great weekend with great people and opted to talk to them instead of my computer/television...but now
-I have no idea who won the Master's.
-I hear something controversial happened with the United States at the World Cup...but I'm not sure what.
-I don't know where we will live in 2 years - don't tell our neighbors...we're getting sick of this house
-I don't know 2 people who clean their cellular phones with Qtips...or anybody who follows the "rules" of Qtips and keeps them outta their ears
-I don't know why they cancelled Ed
-I don't know why people deny loving Saget
-I have no idea who is any good in baseball, but I'm fairly certain it's not the Pirates
-I don't know why my lawn looks like the title of a popular Showtime series
-I don't know what the deal is with Brad's voice...something to do with the pancreas?

Monday, June 21, 2010


SOS is this week.
SOS is a four 1/2 day conference for kids who just finished the 6th grade all the way through students who just fininished high school (6th-12th grade)

Tomorrow is when the action really begins and I believe we're still looking for folks who would like to help.  There will be 1,000 students there...and it takes a lot of help to help them to help others...
There will be projects all around the city, as well as a giant Luau on Thursday evening for adults with special needs.

So if you'd like to join in the fun, just click here and pick a project (2-3 hour slots or more)

Friday, June 18, 2010


To celebrate the Lakers victory our medium sized group is staying at a lake house this weekend.  Should be a lot of fun and at one point I expect a full on fist fight to ensue.

We're taking a movie actor and a ring girl.  We'll have a movie director and a nursing mother .  We'll have a scrapbooker and a construction management guy.  We're taking five moms, but only one kid.  We're going to have Sam the Eagle playing ping pong with a Go Forth singer.

We will have 0 ski boats and fewer paddle boats.  There's a fairly good chance that no one will be in the lake...but you should see the flatscreen in this place.  It's really, really flat.

Should be a great weekend, and if it's not...I blame the girls...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My theory

I have a theory...
I also have an awesome idea about how to clean up the oil spill, but I don't want to talk about that.  I've got bigger fish to fry (possible "see what I did there?" with the whole fish and frying reference...because you fry in oil...)

I want to talk about meteorologists.
They really, really like to be on television.  Lots of people do, they're just in a position to do it more often.  In fact, they're on every night...but you know there's gotta be that tug to be the anchor.  If you're the anchor, you get 15 or so minutes every night.  How could a meteorologist get that kind of time?

I'll tell you how - make an incredibly big deal out of a thunderstorm, that's how.
Knock out entire one hour dramas and the final five minutes of a sporting event.  Interrupt a reality show and talk about how rain makes things wet and lightning might kill your giant statue on the lawn.

This is the Super Bowl for weatherpeople.  In fact, this is the NBA Playoffs because it goes on and on and on...every time there is thunder a t-ball game gets cancelled.  Every time a t-ball game is cancelled and we're forced into our homes we're made to watch the weathermaps.

Keep in mind that we have the best weather-people in the business here in Cincinnati, Ohio.  I've lived in four cities and you're not going to find better meteorolgist that in the Queen city.  I'm just saying that the final five minutes of my digitally recorded Last Comic Standing was pictures of rain and that's not as hilarious as our next Dat Phan...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

illegal blocking, bearded guy

This should probably fall under the leadership of a graphic designer...and I'm more of what you'd call an idea guy.

Having said that - I thought I'd offer up a few ideas for the church up the street that now faces the task of how to replace their lawn ornament/statue.
Picture no hat, but add a beard

I like the idea of keeping a little of what they had, but maybe just tweeking it a bit.

They had touchdown Jesus, so what about intentional grounding Jesus?

or how about illegal cut block Jesus?

You could do Safety Jesus, offsides Jesus, illegal motion Jesus...the possibilities are endless.

I'm just going to make the argument that you really ought to stay with football.  I think we'd all agree that that's probably the best way to honor the tradition...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Best thing to happen to the US economy?

-Paul Blart Mall Cop provided jobs, entertainment and the hope of a sequel.  Having said that, I'm not sure I agree with my mom when she says, "It's the most underated movie of my lifetime"...but who knows?

-The U.S. Census.  95% of our recent job growth has been attributed to our hiring of these temporary employees.  Having said that, wouldn't it make sense to hire them full timee?  We could make the census more in depth.  Maybe link the answers to the Family Feud or some sort of National Apples to Apples competition.  I'm just spitballing here, but this is genius stuff..I sure hope someone is taking notes.

-"Sin taxes"  Cigarette, gambling, booze, country music.  These are things that the government taxes at a higher rate because- what politician wants to vote for the cigarette company's?  They call them sin taxes, so why not expand the category of "sin" to things that are obviously bad for this country?
-Fast food, SUV's, beef, the D.H., D.L. Hughley, the older brother from Hanson...

-Has anyone thought of leasing the naming rights of our Country?  Nope...not until now.  Let the maps reflect that we are the United States of Applebees.  Seems like a no-brainer.

I'm just trying to help...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Possible new names for the Big 10

Bigger than 10

Medium sized 12

You kept Northwestern?


Ohio State and  11 teams that want to be Ohio State

We couldn't get Notre Dame

The Big 10 - Cornific!

Size doesn't matter, but if it did...we're bigger now

Wednesday, June 09, 2010


I get that socialism doesn't/hasn't worked.  It just sort of sounds good on paper...if the paper isn't very deep.

I sort of like the idea of voluntary socialism.  I tend to vote for candidates who give more to charity than their opponents.  I think it speaks to their generocity and also to what they really believe in.  It's not the only factor...but it's one.

I like the idea of a church body/family that freely gives to those in need.  I'm not as much a fan of standards of giving because it takes it from a choice and moves it to an obligation.  I also wonder sometimes if folks would be even more generous if they weren't held to some sort of standard. 

None of this is what I'm thinking about right now.  I'm just starting to ask the question - should churches/Christians/I charge money for their/our services and/or messages?  Should I stop doing this/ and also this...?

I've been paid to write/speak/act/teach/perform for a bunch of this is all about me. (I'm just saying that this isn't about you Rick Warren...or you and your angelic voice Michael W. Smith)

I've always admired the idea of giving away to the world what God has given me...but it sure is nice to get paid.

So when my friend asks me to ghost write for his next book, or I'm asked to speak at that thing at St. Craigs....or to do a training conference in Motown...aren't these messages that I want to share with the world?  Wouldn't it make sense for me to make them as accesible as possible?  Wouldn't making them free help to spread the message more?  Should they bring back the show Ed?  These are the questions I'm wrestling with right now.

I'm also thinking of buying a cape.  Something simple and understated.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

living large

This week has shifted from Birthday week to birthday/movie week.

Annie celebrated the day of her birth on Tuesday, and today is all about Parker turning four.  Big step for Parker, not so much for Annie.  Parker will learn things like how to write, tie her shoes and mow the lawn this year...Annie already knows how to do two of those things (we're still working on the shoes).

I also get to go watch my friend Isaac make a movie.  He's putting together a motion picture in just a few weeks with very little budget, and how can you not love watching someone do something that they love?  I'm terribly excited for the young fella and can't wait to see him in action.

There's also a rumor that there will be a pre-screening of Joe's movie this week.  I'm not 100% sure what that means, but I think they're going to show the almost finished film to a crowd to see how it plays.

Either way, it's cool to see his movie take the next step. 

So if you see Parker, Joe or Isaac today..tell them Happy Birthday, way to go or stop stealing Sean's waffles!

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Goals for Man Day

June 2nd is the day between Annie's birthday and Parkers.  Griffin, Cooper and I celebrate is as man day.

Yesterday was Annie's and tomorrow is Parker's...but we get today. 

So this is how I will celebrate:
-At some point I will refer to something as "my jam"

I'll also work hard to remove the word "Kudos" from the English language.

After that I'm going to Cooper's t-ball game.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010


Today is the number one day in the number one month of the year.
60% of the Murphys that live in this house clebrate birthdays in June.
100% of the Murphy girls that live here are included in that number.
The greatest wife of all time celebrates one, not only in June...but this very day.

She's the greatest wife, mom, friend, boggle player in the world.
All of these have been documented and are recorded in the Hall of Records.

So happy birthday Annabelle.
We love you.
Have a great June!