Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ice Ice Middle Aged Adult

Fishing I don't really get.

If I had to break it down to the stuff I like - it'd be a small list.
(in the interest of full disclosure, I'm part of the 87% of Americans who don't consider fishing a sport...and part of the 29% who make up stats)

Fun?  You've got the casting, and the winding up the little reel thing.  After that? guess that part when you pull back your fishing rod and it bends a lot while you're leaning back...that's gotta be pretty good.  After that?  Yup...

So I've established my parameters with the fishing.  I'm sure there are mountains of stories and experiences that would fly in the face of my paradigm.  It just is what it is...whatever that means.

Having said that, I really, really, really, really, really don't understand the appeal of ice fishing.  No casting, maybe some of that winding up the reel thingy...and probably very few moments where you say, "I see a few jumpin over yonder"

So you scoot a portable barn over frozen water.  So far I'm not loving this.  Then you take out a giant drill and start drilling, while hoping the ice is thick enough to hold you (how often do you drill something and wish for it to be extra thick?)  And then you throw a string with a hook on it down the hole...and you wait...

...and wait

...and then you sit there

Maybe this is more about me not liking the taste of seafood?

Monday, September 28, 2009

a blood donor saved this weblog

I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that read, "A blood donor saved my life"

Here's what I thought, in order:
1.  Why am I reading t-shirts when there are starving kids in Istanbul?
2.  Maybe I should spend this time reading a classic American novel, or Sports Illustrated.
3.  Hmmm...I wonder if the blood donor made that shirt himself, or would the shirt then read, "A blood donor saved my life and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"?
4.  That's kind of a niche market to sell to.  I gotta think there are bigger demographics out there to unload t-shirts upon.
5.  I wonder where you sell those t-shirts?

Ultimately I think there has to be some t-shirts made that are going to attract a larger base.  For instance, I've never met anyone who had their life saved by a blood donor.  I'd really have a hard time selling to that demo.

Here's a shirt that I think would be a bit easier to sell:

Thursday, September 24, 2009

C.S. Lewis prevents forest fires?

The progression of a crusader is predictable. What starts out as an important part of their devotion to Christ soon becomes the most important part of their devotion to Christ. Then, before long, it’s likely to become even more important than their devotion to Christ.”
-Clive Staples Lewis
C.S. if you’re nasty
I can’t argue with Clive on this one for two reasons:

1. He’s dead and that’d just be a one sided argument…a rant really.
2. I think he’s probably right. I’ve seen it over and over again – mostly with me, but a few of you do it too. I’m mostly talking about you here though.
I think we do the same thing with politics. We sort of do the opposite. We get so bound up with picking sides that we stop thinking/discussing about topics and instead concentrate on “what our side thinks”.
Either way I think we could fix this with three easy steps that I learned from a certain bear out there (I’m not talking about him )
1. Stop

2. Drop

3. Roll
you’ve gotta stop every once in a while and remind yourself of what’s really true or right
you’ve gotta drop the attitude and pick up the gratitude (mostly wanted to rhyme here…maybe would have used humility if it rhymed or started with an A)
Roll with it fella…or ladies…or children…no matter who you are, the rolling is what puts out the fire…metaphorically that is….

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mo Money

I drove by a filling station this morning and I was struck by two things.

1.  Gas is still relatively cheap.  Seems like water falls from the sky and people are selling it for at least a dollar a gallon...  Gas on the other hand does not fall from the sky.  That'd be awful.
2.  The gasoline station had $2.45, $2.53 and $4.95 on their sign.  I couldn't figure out why the premium was so much more expensive, or really how premium got so snobbish in the first place.  Turns out it wasn't premium at all, it was for the smokes.

People love their smokes.  You've got your addicted to cigarettes group, and your I want to appear cool at parties groups.  Either way, for $5 a pack I'd much rather wear my Frankie Says Relax t-shirt when I want to fit in at a hip party.
Spending $10 a day on a habit makes sense if your habit is eating food or feeding orphans, but I'd have to place a limit on the sweet, sweet menthol rush.  Do they still sell Swisher Sweets?

Monday, September 21, 2009


I took some good notes this past weekend.  I heard some great stuff at a conference I atended, and then some great stuff at the Vineyard Community Church in beautiful, downtown Springdale.

I've got notes if you want them.  They're in a notebook in my backpack.

If you can't get a hold of me this week, you'll have to remind me that they're in my backpack when you talk to me next week.

If you forget about it for a few weeks and then remember...well, there's a pretty good chance they'll be in my backpack, unless I've cleaned it out by then.

That's what I do.  I keep a hold of them until I no longer remember what they're about.  Every once in a while I'll find some random notes that will say stuff like:
-you can impress with big meetings, but you'll only impact one on one or in small groups
-rabid dog analogy
-time does not equal money, it equals time
-call Steve from KGLA and ask him for his video about sharks
-remember to ask Fuller about those elf shoes
and there are always one or two with big stars next to them

I rarely can remember what any of these mean.  That's the problem with conferences, seminars, speeches in general...they last about a week or two.  If you ask most people what they heard in a meeting/church/conference two weeks prior, they probably could just retell a funny story or talk about a wacky video they saw.  It's quickly forgotten...unless the ideas were implemented.

That's what I gotta do while these are still fresh.  I've gotta start acting on them.

I'll begin now...if only I could remember what the gravy boat represented...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

It was the worst of times, and then it wasn't so bad

Kanye West says a lot of stupid stuff.  Two nights ago he said some really great things.

Three nights ago is an entirely different story.  You know the story, so let me just make a few remarks as though I were the one telling you the whole story. (you know the details, these are just my remarks)
-can you believe that?
-I have no idea
-I think he was...a little at least
-it was a good video, but still...I mean...come on...

He made a fool of himself, and then he stood up and admitted it.
That's all you need in my book (which is leather bound...but still has pictures)
If you didn't read his webblog, well why aren't you reading his weblog?  If you have a job, quit it...children, ignore to the next Steeler's game, give them to me.  Do whatever you have to do to make time for these important words.
I liked what he wrote..sortta.  I still wasn't on board.
And then I saw his interview on Leno.  I'm more of a Letterman/Kimmel guy, but Brad keeps trying to convince me that "Jay Leno is the funniest guy ever to walk this planet" I watched episode one.

If you didn't see it, here 'tis. (fifth segment)

I appreciated his words and I believe.
Maybe I'm a sap, but second chances have worked out fairly well for me...and third...and fourth...

Monday, September 14, 2009

I love movies

I love movies, I just don't go to them.
They charge money to go to those things and it turns out...  I don't have much money.  I think the government would say that I'm really, really poor.  So I've decided to believe Uncle Sam (even though he never sends me a birthday card and blows off all our family get togethers) and live like someone who doesn't have a couple of hundred dollars for weekly movie tickets.

I wish I did.  I love those gosh darn things like the Mensa members love Oprah.
So I do the next best thing.  I listen to Doug Benson's "I love movies" podcast.  It's pretty good and has almost nothing to do with movies.  I actually listen because he's a comedian who performs while standing up and I enjoy his little riffs that make me laugh inside.
He ends each of his shows with one or two games.  I'd like to share one with you.
Sadly I forget what he calls this one, but he takes a movie title...any 'ol title and tries to build it into a giant movie title by adding other movie titles.
I'll give you an example.

He'll start with Die Hard, and then someone will have to add to the front or the back of it.

Die Hard
Die Hard Day's Night
Die Hard Day's Night of the living Dead
Time to Die Hard Day's Night of the living Dead
Nick of Time to Die Hard Day's Night of the living Dead
Nick of Time to Die Hard Day's Night of the living Dead Man Walking

and this is an example of where you can sort of  make one word into two...

Nick of Time to Die Hard Day's Night of the living Dead Man Walking of New York

I enjoy this little game, and thought I'd try it out on the 'ol in?

Let's start with:
Godfather (you can ignore the "the" in the titles)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Wygant Tour stop - Cincinnati

I remember when young Ben came back from a trip down south ablaze with the memories of this young lady he'd just met.

"She's way out of my league, Murph"

That didn't stop the tall fella with the Bo & Luke like upbringing and the emo blaring from his internet pod.  He took a shot and asked her out.  It's sort of a commitment to drive six hours just to pick up your date.

And now she's taken his name and increased the likelihood that his future brood will be a lot smarter and better looking.  Ben married that young lady, named after my favorite Friends character, and today they will rejoin us for a weekend of stories, Chipotle and possibly poker.  Annie and I will get the house ready, hurriedly stick a picture of them on our fridge and start practicing beans.

We can't wait to see them.

It's going to be a good one...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I love 'em

More than any other sport, I love professional football.

More than any other league, I love the National Football League.

More than Fuller loves driving to church, I love tonight.

More than Joe loves hugs from strangers, I love the Pittsburgh Steelers.

More than Brad loves two songs shoved together, I love great defense and a strong running game.

More than Art Rooney loves Ireland, I love the Steel City.

More than Annie loves Coccia House Pizza, I love Big Ben.

I love the Steelers like a small child loves a new toy.

I love them like Jana loves abbreviating words.

like Jarnsie loves electronic mail messages

Like CDay loves having a facial and a mani-pedi

like Julee loves organizing and like the Stegman men love being able to crush you like a ping pong ball...if they wanted to

I love them like Lu loves James and like Carl loves Box Car Willie.

I can't contain my excitement over watching the team that, statistically speaking, is more likely to win the Super Bowl than any other team...

I love them

not as much as I love Sags, but lets not get carried away here...

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Fantasy Life

I'm picking players for my fantasy football league tomorrow.

The question for me is always - should I pick players I love, or players that will score a bunch of points?

Should I go with a bunch of Steelers, or pick Bengals players that I can trade to all the locals?
I'm usually in good shape with Steelers players because they're always great and win every Super Bowl..  On the other hand, I'm already going to follow maybe I'll diversify my followership and pick a young upstart or two...maybe Beanie Wells and that young fella who replaced Favre in Green Bay?

Luckily this is just a silly game that's an excuse to talk smack with some friends.  On the other hand, I'm working a fantasy life right now and I had first round draft picks for my wife and kids.

Now if only I could get Griff to play some defense...

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

the worst

I had this little bump in my sock.  Maybe it was in my shoe, or in my head....but I was pretty sure it was a sock issue.  So I unlace, reach down and pull up the sock.  What I'm hoping to do is pull it taut. That's sock 101.   I want to put pressure on that bump and make him (I see it as a male bump) wish he'd just kept quiet.

And then I felt the sock rip.

Well that's a fine how do you do.

So now I'm unlacing, resocking and that cost me three minutes.
Time = Money.  Money = Power (according to Diddy) Power = Influence.  Influence = Authority.

My bump in my sock just cost me authority.  For that he will pay.  Oh sure, he's got me by the bootstrap...we're headed straight into sock season.  What am I gonna do, wear flip flops and sandals all winter?


Monday, September 07, 2009

You're welcome

You don't have to sign any more facebook petitions.  Twitter can be abuzz with the next big story.
I'm back.
So Fuller, you can stop with the 3 A.M. phone calls that alternate between angry rants and crying for more.  Please stop the e-mail campaign.  No more letters.  Brad, if you send me one more picture of a cute puppy and your not so veiled threat...well that just seems a little over the top.

It's not worth you leaving your boyfriend over Liz.

Everything is ok again Luis, you can turn your focus back to bad Indian food and the travailing.

I'll be honest.  I was flattered by the billboard on Kemper road.  I just think maybe that money could have been better spent.  Maybe flowers or a poem?

Things you've missed these past two weeks?
-I broke my hip...or at least it feels like it.
-two miniature vans filled up for a total of $1.68...or something like that
-Coop learned to snap
-Griff is dominating the third grade
-Parker wore an Ohio State cheerleading uniform while complaining about their poor offensive line play
-Annie is still funny, smart, beautiful and an excellent speller
-I still have no idea how to care for my lawn
-I still don't care much about that
-movie wrapped
-many movies left unseen (Funny People, Inglorious Basterds are on my short list)
-P & G sold their pharmaceuticals division

...and that about covers it.