Friday, November 28, 2008

You're welcome

Having given thanks for the year, I feel it's time to now give out thoughts.   For me the day after Thanksgiving is Thoughtsgiving.  I know it won't become official until Hallmark creates a commemorative candle or Peanuts make a Thoughtsgiving Day special.

I wonder about holiday food traditions that don't show themselves the rest of the year.  Let's use the can shaped cranberry sauce that I see once a year.  Once.  That's it.  Either it's good in May or it's not.  I'm not sure you could say that it's good one day of the year but it's not so much any other time.
It's in a can so it's not a freshness issue.  I think it's all in your head.  I point out your head and away from my head mostly because I don't like the stuff in May or November.  Oh sure you can point back at me and say, "what about your annual Secratary's day apple sauce lunch?"  Well, you've got me there fella. (it's always the fellas that point out my hypocritical holiday meal leanings)

and now a few recipes:

Stuffing is composed of bread cubes, onion, celery, seasoning and salmonella.

Dressing is cooked outside of a turkey and is composed of stuffing minus the salmonella.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Corporate Sell Outs

You think I'm going to let myself be bought out by the Man?  Oh sure Mr. Man, I'll buy into your corporate holidays with all the fixin's.

Please Dr. Butterball, prescribe for me a my woes.

This holiday has been brought to you by the letter "M" as in money, as in Macy's, as in leMMings.

All about thanks?  Pilgrim please!

So enjoy your mashed dreams and your cranberry guilt.  Take your hopes and aspirations and stuff them up the insides of an over-testosteroned chicken wanna-be.

Not me.  I'm rockin the vote.  I'm fighting the good fight.  I'm saying "no more" to the hate crime of injustice that screams at us with the only possible conclusion being Consumer Madness Friday.  Not this guy.  Oh no.  I won't buy into your holidays sister Kroger/Meijer/Piggly Wiggly.

-this message brought to you by Nadar/Gonzalez 2012

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Giving and Receiving

There is an apartment complex in town that is set up specifically for adults with disabilities.  A few of us are going to go to the complex - Geir Apartments - and help them wrap gifts, make crafts and decorate cookies for the holidays.  And by "a few of us" I mean that I'm hoping there will be a few of us...

I'm pretty sure this will be one of the greatest things I do this week (love my wife, love my kids, watch Sags...) and I'd love it if you joined me. 

Society has largely marginalized many of the folks living in this complex.  I'd like to spend some time with them... and if wrapping presents and making crafts is a decent way of doing it...I'm in.

Keep in mind that I have a benign tremor and that I'm about as crafty as Candace Bergman (famously uncrafty).  It might not be pretty.

So, if you'd like to join me - let me know and we'll hang out and ice cookies together.  We have all the supplies ready to go...I just need you.

Monday, November 24, 2008


I have a few fairly solid thoughts on kids.

1.  If you were force fed baby food out of tiny jars full of strained nastiness, you'd probably be fairly picky about what you ate for the next ten years too.

2.  Kids were created to peak in their cuteness at the exact same time that they peak in their loudness/crankiness/unreasonableness.  This keeps you from putting them in timeouts for 23 1/2 hours a day.

I'm not sure I have much written date to back either of these thoughts, but if you'd like to come on over and see for yourself...we live in front of the purple mailbox in the Dub-C.

Friday, November 21, 2008

QCP Tonight - 8:00 - 6543 Montgomery Road

So tonight we'll take suggestions from the audience and turn them into performance art.  It's sort of like when your kids take all the tongue depressors and turns them into bookmarks with crazy jiggly eyes on them.  At first you think it's crazy that they would do that to your tongue depressor collection, but then you realize that you really do love those crazy kids and it's worth five bucks to see them perform improvisationally...

I just coined a word right in front of your eyes.  This is sort of the weblog version of what you could see tonight. 

We live in a golden age my friends...a golden age...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

my 1,004th best post

um...I guess I've passed the one thousand post mark.  I just pulled up my account and saw that I had 1,003 posts on this blog.  I feel like I missed an important event in my relationship with blogspot. 

I'm not sure if I should send flowers or just sort of ignore the event like it's not really that big of a deal to me.  Maybe I could just casually mention in conversation how cool I think it is when other web-loggers don't make a big deal out of their first couple thousand posts.  But I'm sure I'll hear it, "Oh Steve just bought Typepad some flowers and sent a nice note".

I feel like it's too late at this point.  I should probably just take my medicine and shut up.

Forever I'll remember my TexMex post as number 1,000.  Oh the memories...the OhioMex reference...the mariachi band...

On an unrelated note - Big improvisation happenings tomorrow night at Ballet Tech.  I've been told that it starts at 8 and is gauranteed to be awesome or Joe will refund your five bucks.
Friday, November 21
Ballet Tech Cincinnati
6543 Montgomery Road
Cincinnati, OH 45213

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

not so secret service

President elect Obama has a new nickname.  He's "Renegade" when the secret service is talking about him on their fancy walkie talkie ear phones.  This was all over the news yesterday.  His code name is Renegade so that no one will know who they're talking about....unless they happen to read or watch tv.  They also have given R nicknames to the rest of his family just to further confuse the bad guys.

Wouldn't the secret service be better off keeping the code names in code?  I'd also think you'd name one guy Renegade and his wife Spatula or Hulk Hogan... just so there was no confusion.  I'd like to think you'd want each family member to have a very different code name and that would avoid any national security situations.  You'd hate to put his daughter on Air Force One because you forgot that he was Renegade and she was Radiance.

Because I've finally decided to not run for the office I'm going to go ahead and let you in on the Murphy family code names.

I, of course, would have been known as "Sags".  Annie would be "Coccia House".  Cooper would be "Coop De Ville", Parker would be "Parkin Link" and Griffin would be "Captain Von Scooberstein"

We're still working on an Aunt Peggy name...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Trading Spaces

Annie wrote about this yesterday, but I want to give you a slightly different perspective.  For Griffin's 8th birthday we celebrated by giving him a completely overhauled room.  And by "we" I mean Annie.

She took our spare bedroom (also known as Grandma's room) and transformed it into Griff's new room.  He's been rooming with Cooper via the bunk bed for all of Coop's life.  The times they are a changin'.

She went with a skateboard motif.  She bought some signs, made some posters, and that's about where I would have quit.  She was just getting started.  She made two shelves out of skateboards.  She made a headboard.  I didn't know you could do that.  I'm still not sure it's legal. 

She painted the outline of a skateboard fella on the wall and there was a matching quilt special made by grandma.  This room is awesome.  When I came home there was still the same general non-skateboard theme to our room...I'm just saying that I've never really had a room this cool.  I'm a little jealous.

I have the best wife and Griff has the best mom - that's the bottom line.

Monday, November 17, 2008

back from Hope

And I'm back.  I left Texas at 5a.m and arrived in the heart of it all around midnight. 

I'm not sure I want to ever be a trucker.  Oh sure, I'd love to have a "handle" and wear trucker hats.  I guess I'd also wear trucker shoes, trucker socks, a trucker get the point. 

So I drove through Texas for the first time...and Hope, Arkansas.....and Little Rock....and Memphis. 

I can now say I've been to Oklahoma...and I know absolutely nothing about it.  That's sort of one of those check the box situations.  I've been there, but I just sort of drove right through it.  It didn't really affect my life and I didn't really experience it the way that I could have.

I spent more time with friends in Austin and Kansas City than anything else.  It was great to see so many old friends and was inspiring to be around my friends who are living radical lives of faith.  These guys live out all of the things we read in the Bible and talk about in church.  They don't just talk about the easy or fun or seeker sensitive parts of the Scriptures and they press into something much deeper as a result.  I found a group of folks that "fear man" much less than I tend to.  They're not wrapped up in looking cool (especially Luis) or ashamed to live out whatever they feel like God is calling them towards.  They're the opposite of much of American spirituality and look both out of the cultural loop and in the affecting the world around them loop.

It's ironic.  We often try so hard to be relevant or with it and we are....and see little bits and pieces of growth here and there.  It's collateral growth.  Do something big enough or often enough and you'll generate some stuff every once in a while...but is that what we're called to?

I often just sort of drive through the Christian faith and can tell people I've been there...but it's not the same.

Friday, November 14, 2008


I had my first taste of authentic Tex-Mex food last night.  Apparently that's Mexican food that you eat in Texas or Texan food that you eat in of those.

I went with the Mexican food eaten in Texas.  We went to a party and were greeted on the lawn of the house by a mariachi band.  I'm guessing the Tex-Mex authenticity factor will never be more greater in this reporter's lifetime...
I will say that Annie makes some sort of combination of tortilla, salsa, chicken and cheese that rivals that of the Tex-Mex variety.  She rarely dresses up in a sombrero and seranades the meal with mariachi music, but her Ohi-Mex food is pretty solid nonetheless.

I'm looking forward to someday eating authentic Ohi-Canadian food.  I imagine it would be some sort of fried salmon with ketchup.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

not so big

Everything is big in Texas?  My queen size bed - it's queen sized.  I checked.  The sink in my hotel room - also queen sized.

I'm not saying they don't have large objects here, but don't kid yourself...we've got some large things in Ohio too.  Have you seen the big butter Jesus in Ohio?  How about our Super Walmart?  Don't forget about that hole in my roof?  What do you have to compete with that Texas?

That's what I thought.

Sure I'm relatively new to this lonestar state (side note - I've seen hundreds of stars....not so lone, is it Texas?) and I'm sure I'll learn a lot  Maybe see a shirtless T.O. doing sit ups?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I'm headed to Texas to see some more friends.  I hated leaving home and after only a few days here I hate leaving K.C.

I can't imagine describing these past few days in a quick blog I write as I head out the maybe I'll give it a few days.  I'll just say that it's incredibly inspiring/encouraging to be around these friends and see their lives in the midst of a culture/context that's totally out of my realm of day to day existence.  A friend recently was talking about how we tend to marginalize God/church/prayer and put together little pockets of entertainment or scheduled services/meetings/God moments and if you do some good things and say some God things...well some folks will be inspired and grow a bit.  It's largely collateral though...I don't think it's enough.

Maybe we've lived in the 20/80 rule for so long that we've accepted it?

See what I'm doing here?  I'm trying to sum up 10,000 thoughts in a quick blog I write as I head out the door...

The bottom line is that I've learned in Kansas City that they have a small group of people who regularly meet with the simple goal of putting together the most disgusting Indian food you've ever experienced.  And they do it very well...

and maybe I went a little overboard on these/things, huh?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

love the people, hate the food

I went with a couple of friends to an Indan restaurant yesterday.  I've decided there are a few things I'd like to do before I ever eat Indian food again.

-watch a stranger vacuum their house
-pull the chair out from under Anderson Silva
-go through another election
-eat Irish food (and that's saying a lot - think boiled meats)
-eat German food (think Irish food shoved into animal casings)
-shave Michael Moore's back
-listen to a boy band sing O' Canada
-put together a 2,000 piece puzzle that's a picture of Mickey Rourke playing Uno
-watch Leatherheads
-go to the ballet in an uncomfortable suit sitting next to Jane Paulie who is crying about the beauty of it all
-start an improv troupe with Paulie Shore, Dan Akroyd and Nicolette Sherridan
-stick Indian food in my eye

I guess I'm trying to say that it just wasn't for me.  The entire buffet smelled awful and I lived in fear that whatever I was scooping onto my plate was the very substance that caused the smell.  Sweet sweet Chipotle, where have you gone?

Monday, November 10, 2008

What up Chief?

I brought the luck of the Irish to Kansas City.  To be accurate, I brought that luck through St. Louis (they were losing 40-0 when I drove through their fair city) and then to K.C. (they only lost by a point)
Imagine how bad it would have been had I not been here.
I came here with my new best friend, Garmy.  She's a British girl that Brad introduced me to via a videotaped introduction.  She tells me when to turn and how many miles I have until my next exit.  I brought her to work with me on Friday and she said, "recalibrating" six times.  I've been driving to this particular work place for three years now and have tried four different routes.  I finally have it down and this uppity British machine tells me I'm wrong six times.  On the last turn she told me I was driving through a field.  Apparently she can't see access roads.
I gave her another chance.  I brought her to K.C. and she's great if you don't know where you're going.  I needed something from the drug store and she took me right there.  She took me on a detour that that jerk Mapquest had no idea even existed.  I'm taking her to Dallas and then to Austin and then she's back to hanging out with her friend Jana.  Thanks Jana, by the way.

To be honest, I'd rather get lost with Annie and the kids than have this electronic direction finding machine help me to make good time...

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Why ya trippin' fool?

I'm going on a roadtrip in a few days and I'm in search of a Garmin.  If only I had my own Garmin and could plug in "find Garmin" and then I would drive to one...and then I would have two Garmins...and if I had two I'd give you one.  If I only had one I would probably still let you borrow it.

Want to be like me? 

And speaking of Garmin - I'm not really just talking about Garmin.  They're the Kleenex of the GPS world.  If I want a tissue, I ask for a Kleenex.  If I'm looking to borrow a GPS to go to Texas - I ask for a Garmin...but you knew what I meant, didn't you?

You're so smart (you future lender of a GPS you)

My friend Brad just made an excellent video using a Garmin (I'm literally just thinking of this) - maybe I'll go find out if it's his...or someone I know...or can steal from.  And this is how I process out loud (I talk out loud while I'm thinking of a blog post...and I wake up the kids whenever I use exclamation points).

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

on hold

I listened to this message every 25 seconds this morning - "please unplug your router and wait one minute before plugging it back in if you haven't already done so"

Out internet was out.  I called the company in charge and they put me on hold.  After ten minutes I took a shower.  After the shower I picked the phone back up and was still on hold.  As I was getting dressed they picked up.  They'd done the message about unplugging my router aproximately 43 times by then.

So the guy comes on the phone and tells me to unplug my router...


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Votin' day

I'm off to elect the next president of these United States.  Annie already went - she's about an hour more patriotic than me.  Joe is four days more patriotic than me because of his voting early, and all the people voting 30 or 40 times today are 30 or 40 times more patriotic than me. 

I'll be glad to see the signs and stickers go away.  I finally decided that those are really for the people putting them up anyway.  I'm just not sure that anyone has ever been convinced that they should vote for a candidate because someone put a sign in their yard, or on their bumper.  It's not something you do to get people on your side, it's more a way of telling the world, "I'm voting for this person and this is my way of telling you...and I'm proud that I am...and if you aren''re a stupid head!" - or something like that.

Anyhow - today is the end of all that...or at least I thought.

We have a 24 hour Obama channel.  It's literally on 24 hours a day (I'm not talking about the networks) and has been running for weeks...or longer on the Dish network (channel 73) and is still on the schedule to play tomorrow.  They're going to continue the biggest and most expensive campaign in the history of the world - past the election!?!?!  You can tune in tomorrow and watch a 24 hour campaign commercial...huh?

The only thing I can think of is that he's running for President of the world and there's a secret election happening some time in the next month? 

You heard it here first.

I'm off the cancel out Lohan's vote.

Monday, November 03, 2008


Who dey?

Who dey think gonna beat them Bengals?
The Ravens - Titans - Browns - Giants - Cowboys - The Girl Scouts - Jets - Steelers - Texans - Jaguars

I haven't heard as much Bengal's chatter on the 'ol blogosphere this year for some reason.  Having said that, I saw something admirable out of them yesterday.  I was watching Chad Johnson get open (typical) and then Ryan Fitzpatrick overthrew him.  After the ball was overthrown Chad stood out there holding his arms up as if to say, "I can't believe you blew this throw - I could have scored a touchdown and then done the my parents didn't hug me as a child so I badly need attention dance"

It was classless and he was showing up his quarterback.

Fast forward to a shot of him on the sideline talking with someone.  A few seconds later they showed Carson Palmer walk up to Chad and say something into his ear...and then you saw Chad walk up and throw his arms around Fitzpatrick.  Carson is out for the season, but he was still leading his team and telling a player to stop showboating and go make up with the quarterback.

The difference between Carson and Chad was that Palmer cared about the psche of the player more than how it made him look.   The worse Fitzpatrick looks the more people will miss and appreciate Carson.  He didn't care about that.  He cared about the person or the team more...maybe both.  He led.

I'm still not a fan - but it was impressive.