Left Home Alone Behind

Young Kevin wakes up only to find that Buzz has taken his pillow and blanket off his bed and used them, along with his own, through the night. Turns out it gets pretty cold when you leave the window open. Buzz had done that too.

Kevins first words that morning - Buzz, why did you leave the window open?!
What are you talking about, mutant? Buzz had a way with words. I'm wondering why you left the window open?
I was hot.
So why did you steal my blanket and pillow?
Because I was cold obviously!

And with that, Buzz went down for breakfast. Why does everyone treat me like this? It was the same question Kevin woke to every morning. He debated not even going down for breakfast, but his hunger won out. As he headed down the steps he heard something fall and wondered what Buzz was messing around with now....

and then he saw the strangest thing he'd ever seen. There were piles of clothes all over the kitchen. The t.v. was on in the living room, but there was only a pile of clothes watching it. Strange... He then saw the bowl that he heard falling as he came down the steps. It had splattered pancake batter all over the floor and wall. What the heck was going on?

Kevin ran all over the house wondering where everyone had gone. It was almost as if he had been left home alone...but this time was different.

He quickly started calling everyone he knew, his Pastor, his Deacon, his Elder, his Sunday School teacher, his Vacation Bible School friends, his Youth Group Leader, his old Youth Groups Leader from 6 months ago, his Youth Group leader from a year ago, his Youth Group leader from a year and a half ago, the worship leader, the organist, the church secratary....NO ONE WAS HOME!

It was then that he noticed a strange shadow outside his window. Someone was here! He raced to the window to see if this was all an elaborate prank. It was then that he noticed two people who had tattoos and rock and roll t-shirts on! They were obviously up to no good. What to do!?!?

That's when Kevin started laying out the traps. I'll surround the front door with tracts. I'll play my Michael W. Smith album at full volume. He ran upstairs to put on his "God's warrior" dog tags and then prepared for battle.

The two hoodlums had taken the tract trap. They leaned over to pick up the twenty dollar bills only to see that they were a four step plan for their eternity. As not disappointing as that probably was, they moved toward the door. Hearing the pleasant sound of "....my place in this world..." they couldn't help but work their way upstairs. It was then that they met the business end of a King James Study parallel Bible, Family Heir Loom Edition. As they flopped down the steps they couldn't help but think, "I wonder where I can get one of those handy books?"

As Kevin looked down the steps he shouted with all he could muster, "I will devote the rest of my life defending the remnant!"

It was then that the bad guys woke up, slapped him silly, and went about looting the house.