Thursday, February 16, 2006

shakin in my boots...


I shake. I'm a shaker. I used to think that everybody had hands that shook...but turns out it's just me and Ali. I remember wondering how they did delicate surgery since no one could possibly hold their hands steady enough to do that. It's funny how I assumed that everyone must tremble a bit just because I did.

I make the mistake of the false assumption a lot. I'm feeling this way about this...so everybody must. I have to continually ask people around me how they're feeling about issues just so I can try and figure out next steps. If they feel the same way as I do...then it seems like I can start moving towards solutions. If they don't...crap....then I have to figure out how to tell them they're wrong.

Is that bad?

Out of my pride/insecurity comes this insatiable urge to fix things. Sometimes those "things" just happen to be people...or more pointedly, the way they think. I value my opinions so much that I want to help people to have the incredible opportunity to have my opinions themselves...

That's bad, right?

It'd be great to not care about anything. That's part of my problem.

When people don't care about certain things I tend to envy their emotional distance from whatever it is. I do this with a lot of things...but the things I really care about....it's hard to just sit back and let things happen. I can't just say, "Oh well" or "whatever" it kills me...it eats at me...
it gives me the shakes

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:29 AM

    Sean, I love your blogs. I love reading them and being entertained and learning from them. You have a comedic gift and a deep insight into to yourself which is refreshing and fun to read. I hope you don't mind if I make a not-necessarily positive comment.

    Regarding your "everyone has a right to my opinion": (well, I have that to, since I'm writing this note to you). My Mother always told me not to date Christian men. Yep, NOT to. She warned me that they are raised to have a "my way or the highway" mentality (like my Dad) and that I would never be happy with a man like that. I always wondered if my Mom was right. Are most Christian boys brought up to be alpha males? Please understand that I'm not trying to flame anybody or hurt their feelings. I'm genuinely wondering if your self-reflections are true of most Christian men, or men or people?

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  2. Anonymous (can I call you nony?)
    Thank you, first of all for your kind words.
    I should say that I love Jesus enough to tell you that I am really, really, really, really, not great at following His lead. I'm trying though...bit by bit. There are lots of guys out there that are way more compassionate, loving, caring, empathetic, and the list could go on and on...
    Please don't let me represent the Christian guys who are doing their best to follow a God who really is all of those things and more. I'd definitely put my stock in a guy who was humble enough to know that he ISN'T God and that the God he's following calls us all to put others first, to care for, forgive, show kindness...and the list goes on and on. I wouldn't give up hope on Christian guys just because a few of us are pretty screwy....There's at least the hope that God will continue to work on that fella whoever he is(I'm going to call him Danny)

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  3. Geeze Murph...thanks for ruining it for the rest of us. :)

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