palm pilots...

I go through more palm pilots than my pastor goes through coffee cups. More than Griffin goes through happy meal toys. More than Mary Kay goes through mascara thingys...
you see what I'm saying??? I go through a lot of palm pilots. I lose them. I break them. Griffin breaks them on my behalf. They just kind of stop working. And yet I continue to pine for them. (do people still say, "pine for"?)
I'm lost without them.
I crave them like a fat kid craves cake. Like Ben craves the outdoors. Like Colonel Sanders craves chicken. You get the point...
And yet, here am I....palm pilot less. I'd go back to my daytimer, but that's like going back to that girl that you used to date...never really liked...but dated until someone better came along. It's not fair to you...or the daytimer.
So what to do? I've been writing a lot of things on my hands lately (the original palm pilot). But then you can't ever wash your hands...and who wants that?
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I heard a guy once say that when you write things down that you're giving yourself permission to forget it later. This sort of goes against everything they teach you in school about taking notes. I don't think I buy it...although I was a lot better at remembering phone numbers before I put them all in speed dial.
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I keep looking for a palm pilot/cell phone that will do everything for me. I hated carrying around both...but then if I break that, it's double the trouble. (anybody remember Nipsy Russell?)
what to do?
Maybe I just need an assistant. I could keep him on speed dial and just keep calling every 5 minutes to see what I'm supposed to be doing.
That'd be good. People would call and I'd say, "let me put you on with my assistant and see if they can find a place in my schedule for a quick sit down" and then I'd ask my assistant to go and get me coffee...and then I'd spit it out and scream, "I asked for decaf!! What are you trying to do, kill me?!?!?"
Hmmm? There might be something to this. Of course, I don't really drink coffee...
oh well...