Thursday, September 22, 2005

Here I come to save the day!

I was talking with a friend the other day about a skit (run-on, interrupter). It would be something along the lines of... "First there was Spiderman, next came the Dynamic Duo...then the Fantastic Four. Tonight, we introduce you to the AVERAGE THREE" (also thinking of the Almost Super Three, the Trio of Mediocrity, or The Super Interns!)
Anyhow, one guy would be Change Man - he can make change in any situation. There's also Nose Man - he smells trouble when it's on the way...sniffs out crime...has a nose for evil (you get the point) and 5 foot 9 guy - the worlds tallest little man (because I don't think you're allowed to say midget, dwarf or short stuff anymore...and I think it's about time) He fights little people crime...or crimes committed on preschool playgrounds (because he's a giant in the world of the under 4 foot tall crowd)
My friend wanted a Fart Man - but I think Howard Stern did that...need I say more?
Anyhow, I ask folks every once in a while what Super Power they'd like to have. I've asked this in big groups and small...and the number one answer is always to fly... & #2 is to be invisible Today I figured out how to accomplish the number two most wanted super power.
Just go to Lowe's and look around like you can't find anything. The people with the vests that have their names on them...all of a sudden you're invisible to them. They look up, down, to the side...anywhere but at you.
You know that feeling you get that someone's looking at you? It's almost like you can see behind you... They have that...and it immediately triggers a "LOOK AWAY!" response.
I don't know if they're trained that way. I think it's all that bug killer they have in aisle 4.
maybe it's just me....


  1. I feel ya on the Invisible at Loews problem. I can't stand that place.

    As for your run-on, I suggets that you watch "Mystery Men" (starring Ben Stiller and Jenine Garafalo (sp?)... lots of good ideas there - I got half of a YL camp program from that movie one summer.

  2. A couple insignificant superheroes that you could use...

    Hat Boy - ability to pull off wearing any hat

    SyrupMan - you know how you go to the Waffle Shop and they never have the syrup you actually want to use at your table...this guy can handle it

    And I'm often asking people about superpowers, and I submit to you that the best superpower to have is the ability to speak any language w/ accent. Not only would this be cool for eavesdropping on many foreign conversations- but you could legitimately pull off being a spy because of your perfect French or Georgian (the Russia kind). And you could use it to spread the Gospel too, but obviously being a spy takes precedent...