Tuesday, March 21, 2006

read all about it!

Do people still read newspapers? I know they buy them. I have a couple of friends who deliver them...but read them?

We buy them occasionally when they're running some sort of Sunday only, 12 week special. We just figure that we'll more than pay for the paper if we use the coupons.
That's a big if...

But everything I could read in the paper is also on the internet, radio and tv. (all free ifyou get your neighbor's wireless internet signal)

I guess it's nice to have everything in one big, finger staining, awkward folding, rain absorbing, walk out to the curb in my bare feet at 6 in the morning - inducing, chunk.

When did the USA Today move up to 75 cents, anyway?

Everything I'd read in the paper can be contained on espn.com and yahoo news.

I thought this would be a great plot point for an episode of Ed.

A guy walks into Ed's bowling alley/law office and wants to sue the local newspaper.

Ed: Why would you want to sue the Stuckeyville Bugle?

Mr. Grable: Because they keep delivering their paper to my house.

Ed: I'm sorry. I just don't see much of a case here.

Phil Stubs sticks his head into the office: Hey boss, the hotdog machine is acting up again.

Ed: the (does a double take to Phil) we have a hotdog machine? Hold on Phil....(back to the guy) now what is the nature of this lawsuit?

Mr. Grable: You see Ed, I cancelled my subscription to the paper three months ago...but they keep sending it.

Ed: And they keep charging you?

Mr. Grable: Nope

Ed: so you're going to sue them for giving you free papers?

Mr. Grable: No, I'm suing them for getting my house broken into.

Ed: I'm not sure I follow

Mr. Grable: You see, my wife and I went out of town two weeks ago..and when we came home, the house had been broken into and there were 9 newspapers stacked up on our porch. The robbers knew we weren't home because of all the papers. It was like sticking a Vacant sign on the door.

Ed: I think we have a case Mr. Grable

and....scene

I just need to include a $10 bet...and then get Letterman to bring Ed back to CBS.

4 comments:

  1. News Story Headline:
    Sean Michael Murphy Wins the "Bloggie" (an award for best blogger..ther should be one, you know)
    and NO I AM NOT PREJUDICED!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:23 AM

    why is sean not some kind of writer?

    ReplyDelete
  3. first off, Ed was a great television program.
    secondly, doesn't that scene sound eerily similar to the Seinfeld episode when Kramer cancelled his mail?
    thirdly, yes, you should be a writer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love Seinfeld (and apparently love plagiarism)
    Luckily I have the world's worst memory and can't remember that episode- so I can claim ignorance
    - it was largely inspired by my old newspaper delivery guy who kept delivering our newspaper after we had it cancelled...

    ReplyDelete