Charles Barkley is my new role model

Five Bengals in five months have been arrested. Two Steelers in two months have been really stupid on motorcycles. I wonder sometimes why the rate of arrest is so much higher among professional athletes than it is with us regular folk...

I'm guessing these guys were allowed to get away with a lot of ridiculous stuff growing up. Because people want to say they know LeBron James, they don't think twice when he does something that most people would get in trouble doing...even if they're the teacher. Teachers, coaches, neighbors all want to one day say, "I knew him when he was this big" and they also eventually want free tickets. Lebron's not giving you free tickets if you tell on him for cheating on the test.

Speaking of cheating on a test. No teacher wants to be responsible for flunking the star football player and keeping him out of the big game. Have you ever heard these guys in interviews? It'd be helpful it there were interpreters...

Some parents do the same thing with their little star kid. I'm not talking about Chad Johnson's mom, I'm talking about the parent who refuses to say no to their kids. There's actually a book out there telling parents not to use that word. There's this thinking that innately kids know what's best for them, so let them just live. In the short run, that's probably a lot easier.

Most parents don't want to discipline their children. It's a lot easier when you're kid is going nuts at the grocery store to just buy them a candy bar. I know it doesn't feel like love when you're putting your kids ina timeout, but I know it's not love to just allow them to keep making the same mistakes over and over without some sort of guidance.

Sometimes the only guidance a five year old will hear is the silence of sitting on a chair for 5 minutes. Doesn't seem loving, but it really is the most loving way to let your child know there are consequences to their actions. Sometimes you don't feel them right away, but their actions will affect them, their family, friends...they just do.

I know it doesn't feel very loving to tell people hard things. We avoid a lot of ugly conversations- because they're incredibly difficult, and it's easier to just say, "I don't think this particular action needs to be addressed, I think I should just love them" That's great. The most loving thing you can do is have that difficult conversation.

We've replaced any sort of accountability with this excuse of just talking about love. We've replaced love with just agreeing with people and trying to smile and be pleasant around them. I'm not saying love is bad, I'm saying the sitcom love of just saying everything is ok and hugging people is an awful picture of what love is in it's entirety.

I think we're supposed to love our superstars, kids, neighbors and enemies...but I don't think we're supposed to just smile and pretend everything is ok. The people who are great at loving me, are great at letting me know when I'm headed in the wrong direction. They're great at picking me up when I've fallen, encouraging me and also kicking me in the butt when I need a little strong encouragement. They're willing to be truth tellers and to initiate in sometimes painful conversations. They love me. That's what they do...because they want the best for me.