Everybody's normal, until you go to their house for dinner, play some board games with them, and then say, "so tell me about your family" ...and then you find out that everybody has a screwed up family (except for me and my family members that read this blog) we all have issues... some unknown past or present shame...everybody has their secrets...am I over generalizing here?
Yup - but I'm not that far off am I? (Why do I keep asking questions?)
The question for me is how much should we put out there? I know there is incredible freedom with confession. I think the A.A. folks model that fairly well. So we should let people know our junk.
Got it...I'm with that. But should we let everyone know everything?
I'm sometimes left wondering when I hear people shout from the rooftops some of their struggles....is that the best way to go? I think we should have some folks that we can confide to...but does that mean that I tell everything to the 15 year old kid that lives next door?
Am I responsible for him?
Am I responsible for the 32 year old that I confess to?
At some point we've got to be somewhat selective about who we talk to about our struggles....but does that mean we're not being authentic?
Is that being fake?
Is it possible that there are people out there that can't handle knowing about our junk?
My fear is this - shouting from the rooftops everything everyone struggles with is becoming a badge of honor....all in the name of being authentic. On the surface, this doesn't seem like such a bad thing. Let's just put everything out there.
O.K., it's cool if Dan lists his Frankie Goes to Hollywood songs on his ipod as Jack Johnson - fine.
But what often happens is I see folks live out this new freedom by doing some pretty stupid stuff. It's almost like they take the label "authenticity" and turn it into a license to do some pretty ugly stuff.
"Don't judge me!" is the new McCarthism. I wouldn't dare cross that guy, people will think I'm a racist. I wouldn't ever turn her down for a job, people will think I'm a sexist. I wouldn't ever say anything to him about that, people will think I'm a judgmental jerk.
So I wonder if the smartest way to go is to put a few people in my life to keep me accountable to the stupid things I do and say. I won't yell "Judgmental Jerk!" at them, and they can be honest with me. I'll live in the freedom of knowing that I'm not living out some secret life...and I don't have to worry about some less mature person (if they exist) stumbling because of the life I'm living.
It's not a perfect plan...but it's a plan.
"Remember your leaders... Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." -Paul
My only question would be, what about all the people who need to hear that others are struggling with the same issues they are struggling with?
ReplyDeleteNothing has been as helpful as hearing someone on stage admit to the same struggles, or reading authors (like Ortberg) talk about their issues. I just think it is almost always a good idea to shine a light in those dark places. And if we always keep our junk hidden (or even shared with a couple people), it feels like we're dimming the light quite a bit.
Especially since most people don't have an Evan Griffin, and they need to hear people from the stage telling them they are normal and there is hope.
I loved the first two pages of GRADS...
That's why I read Blogs. I'm here in my safe little space reading the most intimate thoughts of a few very brave individuals who make the rest of us feel better about the things we're thinking and wondering and maybe even embarassed to talk to anyone about; people who are willing to admit their struggles and risk getting "flamed" for their admissions. I can't believe anyone has the courage to put some of the stuff out there that they do and then sign their name, their town...etc. You're a brave person, Sean. I couldn't do it.
ReplyDeleteI think I agree that there has to be a line... I was just reading through 1 Corinthians the other day and the passage about the "not eating food sacrificed to idols because it causes a brother to fall" part really stuck out to me. God was really really strong about the idea of not causing a weaker brother to fall. Freedom is good, but we do have other younger, less mature believers to worry about. Ugh. Where is that line?
ReplyDeleteTwo things...
ReplyDelete1. I think it can become very easy to let our struggles define us as "the guy who deals with ________." We can start to see ourselves in that way, so when ______ comes to the surface, we can say "Hey, I told you I have a hard time with that. It's a real struggle I have" and it becomes a justification mechanism.
2. I'm interested in the "stumbling block" deal. I'm unsure as to which would be worse for a young believer; being exposed to the struggles/problems that other believers deal with or thinking that everyone in the Christian community is a saint and whenever that young believer screws up with ______, it sends them into a real downward spiral.
It's a gray area and it's something I struggle with. I said (from a rooftop) IT'S SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WIIIIIIIITTTTTHHHHHHH!
Paul said, "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. "
ReplyDeleteHmm
you read the rest of that chapter?
ReplyDelete(that sounds kind of condescending, huh?)
I'm just asking...it's interesting context
you're such an a-hole.
ReplyDeletecontext is important.
I'm currently reading over the comic ideas.