Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pandarnit


I can't imagine what Howie Doit is doing with news of our latest pandemic.

We've moved through stages 1-3 (primarily animal infections) and we are officially in stage 4 (five is the pandemic- widespread human infection)
 
So I'm stocking up on all the essentials.  If you don't have your list together yet, you can simply print mine.

-Peanut butter.  I'd go with Skippy.  You'll feel young again eating something named Skippy and that will keep your spirits up.  Peter Pan seems a little too Sandy Dunkin in tights and who eats something named Jif?

-Crackers.  You can store these simply and what's better with Skippy? (insert Michael J. Fox joke here)

-bottled water.  Can you imagine that much p.b. & c. without something to wash it down?

-Laptop Computer.  How else are you going to read my pandemic updates?

-Ed - seasons 1 through the tragic cancellation of our finest television program

-A radio controlled car.  Those are just fun.

-Flashlight

-batteries

-one of those lazer pointers (if you have a cat...but why would you have a cat?)

-a slip n' slide

-a portable generator

-darts

-a dartboard (this really seems obvious)

-Snuggie

-Probably some relaxing music.  Something that is empowering, but won't raise your pulse too much.

Now all you have to do is go to file and hit print.

You're welcome.

6 comments:

  1. where is montreal steak seasoning?its like youve never lived through a national health crisis

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  2. I hear that montreal steak seasoning is good on cat. b/c that is the only reas to have a cat in a national crisis, or ever...

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  3. I hear that those 'Ed' DVD's make great coasters.

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  4. peanut butter and jelly with water. SICK.

    i laugh in the face of swine flu.

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  5. I never mentioned jelly Carl. That is one of those sandwiches that just seems wrong to me...

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  6. Skippy crunchy wins in my book -- doesn't stick to my palate. I like it with milk. water doesn't quite cut it.

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