9:30 PM on The American Broadcasting Company

I know many of you are hosting Surviving Suburbia parties tonight.  I just have to cautiously prepare you for a few things that you always have to remember with a Saget joint.
 

1.  No matter how awesome a star is, sometimes if he doesn't get any support the show falls flat.  No matter how great the surrounding cast is it's still got to be like a pop warner team asking Ray Lewis to play middle linebacker.  You have a great player, but he may have murdered someone and they're still a bunch of kids playing offense.
  
2.  There was a short time where people were still wondering if America's Funniest Videos would be a hit.  It sounds ridiculous now, but there was actual talk of it not making it a second season.  Looking back we see that that would have been like filming Dumb & Dumber but never exploring the next level with Dumb & Dumberer (another Saget classsic)  Unthinkable, right?

3.  While we will hope and pray for a Stamos appearance, I think it would be distasteful to pull that one out before season two.

4.  Under no circumstance will we stand for any sort of walk on by that smarmy, scene stealing, hack of an actor, mr. big shot comedian showboat Coulier.
 
5.  We all get to someday tell our grandkids that we lived in the era of Full House, A.F.V, Half Baked and the Aristocrats....