Friday, March 13, 2009


I'm not saying that the Cookie Monster is bulimic, it just seems like the second he's binging on a dozen cookies at once...they're coming right out of his mouth.  What would you call that?
It's about time someone stepped in and said something.  The Children's Television Network isn't going to do anything, because he's a cash cow.  His posse is full of yes men and stooges just riding in his financial slipstream.
This is an appeal to Burt.  Please Burt, don't listen to your partner's time to have a heart to heart with C.M. and let him know how we all feel.  Enough is enough.  It stops now.  Think of the children.


  1. Sean, Cookie Monster is a puppet, nay a muppet. Muppets do not have an esophagus, and thereby, no way to ingest cookies. I too am puzzled how said monster continues to maintain an above average body weight but I think it has something to do with the fur sewn on to his muppet shell.

  2. true Jim Henson behind the scenes fun fact. He used cookies as a cleverly sweet metaphor for meth.

  3. Watch this:

  4. Cookie Monster (should there be a "the" in front of that?) clearly is suffering from a horrible disease that plagues thousands, nay tens of thousands, of innocent victims every day. His shame has driven him to the cookies. The side effects prevent him from properly consuming them. He is a blue whirlwind of self destruction for all the world to see. What disease could do this to a muppet?

    I am glad you asked.

    Erectile Dysfunction.

  5. This might all be irrelevant since he know only eats vegetables...