I have a friend who killed his lawn on purpose. It was just easier. When people asked him why there was this perfectly straight line of dead grass that marked the beginning of his lawn and the edge of his neighbor's - he could tell them he did that on purpose.
The problem is the hundreds of neighbors and passer byes who just looked over and shook their heads. They'd never know he did it on purpose. They wouldn't know that he was actually killing the lawn so that he could start fresh. He killed his lawn and then replanted.
He read it in a book and had the guts to try it. It looked bad - and then it looked ridiculously bad - and now it looks great.
So what if you struggle with some pretty large issues. Because of these issues, you compensate in other areas of your life. Because you're over compensating - you let some things slide. Soon your life is out of balance, you're making excuses or lying to cover them up...and your life starts to look pretty bad.
So you can confess - kill it at it's root - and make it look worse. This way the people closest to you can see that you're putting it all out there and working on a long term solution. The problem is - the drive by folks. The people in your life who just sort of hear about your confession. To them, they only see this big thing you've been involved in. They don't see your plan. They don't see your reasoning for putting it out there. They only see the ridiculously bad situation.
That's why we hide stuff. That's why we cover up and overcompensate in other areas.
We don't want to go through looking ridiculously bad to get to the great. We want the fresh new start without the pain of letting things die - or even more proactively - killing them. (wow, that sounds sort of violent when I really just wanted to convey the image of killing your lawn or killing a habit or lifestyle that's killing your soul - through confession)
I think the 12 step folks are probably onto something. There's something about putting your junk out there and admitting, "I'm a __________" Saying it aloud does something that merely working through a problem doesn't. It gets it out there. It's ugly and sometimes we need to see just how ugly that is.
just a thought I had while I sat down to write this...
The problem is the hundreds of neighbors and passer byes who just looked over and shook their heads. They'd never know he did it on purpose. They wouldn't know that he was actually killing the lawn so that he could start fresh. He killed his lawn and then replanted.
He read it in a book and had the guts to try it. It looked bad - and then it looked ridiculously bad - and now it looks great.
So what if you struggle with some pretty large issues. Because of these issues, you compensate in other areas of your life. Because you're over compensating - you let some things slide. Soon your life is out of balance, you're making excuses or lying to cover them up...and your life starts to look pretty bad.
So you can confess - kill it at it's root - and make it look worse. This way the people closest to you can see that you're putting it all out there and working on a long term solution. The problem is - the drive by folks. The people in your life who just sort of hear about your confession. To them, they only see this big thing you've been involved in. They don't see your plan. They don't see your reasoning for putting it out there. They only see the ridiculously bad situation.
That's why we hide stuff. That's why we cover up and overcompensate in other areas.
We don't want to go through looking ridiculously bad to get to the great. We want the fresh new start without the pain of letting things die - or even more proactively - killing them. (wow, that sounds sort of violent when I really just wanted to convey the image of killing your lawn or killing a habit or lifestyle that's killing your soul - through confession)
I think the 12 step folks are probably onto something. There's something about putting your junk out there and admitting, "I'm a __________" Saying it aloud does something that merely working through a problem doesn't. It gets it out there. It's ugly and sometimes we need to see just how ugly that is.
just a thought I had while I sat down to write this...
This is excellent.
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