looking for a new name...

I'm fairly certain I broke my hip.  It might just be a crack, strain, bruise or tear...but it feels like Korey Stringer borrowed Griffin's pogo stick and went to town on my right leg...up near my bathing suit parts.
 
Here's how it happened:

  I'm a basketball coach and occasionally I'll have to scrimmage with the boys.  This involves a lot of running back and forth on the 'ol ballfield (did I mention I don't really know anything about basketball?).  Well at our practice the other day, the other coach decided to give the kids a little incentive.  For every drill that a team lost, they'd have to run sprints back and forth across the court.  My team lost a few.

 

There was one kid (we'll call him "Trevor") who decided he was going to beat the old man.  I'm a lot of things, but second place in a drill with a fourth grader I am not.

I used to make fun of my dad when he would do stretches before we played tennis.  I stretch out when I go to the gymnasium in the morning...but not before practice.  Most of the time I just high five kids and say things like "way to chuck hoss" and "give me your juice box or I'll bench you for next week's game".  These are activities that don't require stretching...

So when the coach puts me in I'm not going to hold off practice while I put on my terry cloth headband and start my Ashram Yoga stretching exercises.  No chance - I just jump into the mix.

And then coach had us run suicides.

Who named running back and forth across a wooden floor suicides?  Gassers made sense in football...you run out of gas...you empty your tank...you check the tires...ok, maybe not total sense, but more than suicides, right?

Doesn't matter - not the point.  The point is that my hip feels like Courtney Love's liver.

and for that I blame the sport of basketball...

curse you Jimmy Naismith!!