Went to the gymnasium this morning to get myself off the Biggest Loser. I was on the treadmill and at some point was hit in the face with something so vile, that it pains me to describe it.
Nonetheless, that's exactly what I'm about to attempt.
I need you to imagine that an 84 year old man worked at a Vicks Vapo Rub factory and they had a very loose policy about bathing. They were also implementing a no shaving policy and encouraged their employees to bathe in rogaine. Robin Williams would take a look at this guy and say, "Maybe you want to trim that back fella...pardon the pun" (keep in mind that Robin hasn't been funny since Carter had him to the White House).
Back to our octogenarian friend. He decides to take a looksy at the Vicks and wouldn't you know it, he takes a tumble right into the eye of the menthol. What's a fella to do? Run immediately to the gym, get a good sweat going on your way...and then jump on the treadmill next to the guy running to Jimmy Pardo's podcast.
Did I mention he gargled the stuff too?
All this to say, we're going to the Prom tonight...and it's going to be a good one.