Our friends put on a picnic in conjunction with a walk-a-thon to support juvenile diabetes (actually, they're fighting J.D. - they're not supporting it at all, it turns out). So we went to the picnic, fought the betes and then came home to relax in our sweet conditioned air.
And then we started scratching.
And scratching...
The whole family had these welts. It was an epidemic of red spots and itchiness. So I asked around and it turns out that everyone I know that was at the park (not named Ole) had the spots. Luckily one of our friends went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't (A) Staph (B) The Plague (C) Turrets or (D) Bed bugs
Turns out it was (E) None of the above. She diagnosed the culprit for a few dozen of us...and all for the price of one doctor's visit.
I actually know of a way that for $30 you can fight both the Zebra mosquito and Juvenile diabetes.
Take $5 and buy two cans of Off and then take $25 and send it to this site.
Skip a night out at the movies this week...or that Dustin Diamond signed t-shirt you were about to order and help a great cause.
feel free to donate to my $20 co-pay fund as well
ReplyDeleteFirst of all. Thanks for coming to our infestation department but I have to tell you that the diagnosis you received was wrong. The Hamilton County Public Health Department has reported an outbreak of the Oak Leaf Gall Mite in the northern suburbs of Cincinnati (Blue Ash and Montgomery primarily). You are the honorable host of one of the rarer species of itch mites. They carry no disease and the welts should go away in 10 to 14 days. If you woud like to learn more you can go to the following links. http://www.wlwt.com/health/17299642/detail.html or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyemotes_herfsi
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the reading and my apologies and sincere thanks for contributing to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation while simultaneously hosting a whole family of microscopic European Immigrants.
At least the event was memorable. I meant to say "infestation party" not "department" by the way.
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you just say that Leah's doctor is a stupid, stupid man?
Leah,
Cancel my $5 check
Thanks for the plug and thanks to the Wise family for coming out. I am sorry about the mystery bites. If nothing else it means we all desperately cleaned our bedrooms for fear of bedbugs.
ReplyDeleteThe event and the website have raised between $4 and $5K so far and all the contributions are greatly appreciated.
Dave,
ReplyDeleteThats crazy that it raised between $4.00 and $5000.00. Thats a pretty big window.
Come to our house soon.
That's like the Liza Minnelli of mosquitoes.
ReplyDeleteimagine the cabbage you would've raised if you let me give a keynote. I would've been like a young Barack at the 04 DNC. The audacity of diabetic hope.
ReplyDeleteSorry to have to say this but Ole wasn't the only lucky one, neither I nor the wife got any bites or welts
ReplyDeleteat least you weren't accosted by maurauding arachnids.
ReplyDelete