Wednesday, August 20, 2008

don't fence me in

I'm a man on a vision quest.  You can't put me in a box, I reside in a parallelogram of theology, philosophy, political ideology and collect my mail from an old man who has no rock to snatch from his outstretched hands...only a pack of camel unfiltered.

You ask me boxers or briefs and I respond with a quick, yes-and.

What time is it Sean?  It's time for you to realize that I am 31 flavors and then some.  I will tell you how it is, what it is and where it is, and then come back four minutes later with a quick - you know I was just messin' with ya, right?

Where is this guy coming from?
A mid-sized hospital in Columbus, Ohio friend...that's where.  I will race you to the curb and beat you every time.  I have a slide step that gets me out of embarrassing run-intos at the mall.  My vertical leap is almost horizontal and you can take that check to the bank for deposit...but don't try to cash it little fella, I am saving up for a rainy day.  I'm getting a hat that is also an umbrella.  I don't care what Bill Murray happens to be wearing, I'm gonna throw down with the best of them today.

Where do you keep your socks?  I keep them in a drawer.  The man has made me conform to his sock policy, but I happen to be doing this under the guise of winning over his trust.  You just wait Man.  Just when you think I'm sheep #23 I will come at you like a cocoon of horror.

My fence is made of sour apple taffy.  It has been made to stretch and stay delicious all at the same time.

1 comment:

  1. of course you had to start it off by referencing the only semi-decent wrestling movie ever made... Vision Quest.