Here comes the blog

I have a few thoughts on weddings.  Specifically these are some of my do's and don'ts. 
(Also, a quick disclaimer:  This has nothing to do with your wedding.  When I went to your wedding it was perfect.)

Keep in mind that I've never (nor will I ever) read a bridal magazine, website or book.  I didn't obsess or even ever really think about my future wedding as a child. 

I've just been in close to a dozen weddings and attended somewhere around a hundred more.  I went to three weddings one Saturday and two on another.  There was a year or two where every person I'd ever known decided to get hitched.

Having established myself as an expert, I'll move on.

First thing first - do it your way.  Twenty years from now your mom won't look back at her special day.  You dad won't either.  This is your day, do it your way.

Think through festival seating.  First come first serve.  Let people sit wherever they want and don't turn this into which side had more friends show up.  Let the parents sit up front if you want and then let everyone else find their own seat.

I like having the guys in suits.  Let them spend money on a suit that they'll wear to future weddings, funerals, amway conventions and banquets.  A rental just doesn't make sense.

This one is important, so listen up - You need to let people leave when it's over.  DO NOT - DO NOT - have them wait in their seats while the bride and groom personally excuse/hug every single person in the building.  Nobody wants that.  It's long enough when you bring back an usher to excuse each row.  We know how to leave as a crowd.  People do it when they go to an Adam Sandler movie, and they can probably figure it out at your wedding.

If your theology has anything to do with luck, then don't get your pictures done until after the wedding.  If you've read the stats and figured out that good luck at the wedding has nothing really to do with the future success of a marraige - then do the pictures before the wedding.  Everyone is nervous or bored sitting around waiting for the thing to start anyhow, just get them over with.  After the wedding at the reception hall sitting around waiting for the bridal party to show up is for the birds.

No chicken dance.  No Beastie Boys.  I don't make the rules.  That's just how it is.

It's ok to play wind down music if the best man or maid of honor start going to long with their toasts.

Let's put a five person limit on each side.  You get one best man and four groomsmen.  Same deal with the girls.  This keeps it special.  You're one of the five best friends of someone who wasn't afraid to set limits on their how big the wedding is going to get.  It makes the rehersal dinner cheaper and makes it a bigger deal for those who are asked.

I've been told that most people won't read a blog post that's over 250 words.  I'd go on with my ideas, but I've already doubled that.  Besides, I want to leave room for "Here comes the blog part II"