guest blogging today....Annie Murphy

Well, there is quite a bit of pressure heaped on me at this point knowing the likes of Sean, Steve and Dan may read this. It may take several hours to get this written between diapers, crying and getting food. And taking care of my kids too, ah ha ha, see what I did there?

I feel like this could be my big shot at responding to all the posts I've never commented on and prove that I am always right, people should think like me and I have figured out the world. But I fear I may be labeled ethnocentric, egocentric and fanatical so we will go with...

I have learned over the years that I love lobster, irises, laughing until no sound comes out, I have freakishly good hearing, I am moody (I am in a good mood now so I can say that), and I have good friends. Great friends, no incredible, fiercely devoted, sacrificing, generous, dog loyal friends. I have also learned for years and years I had no idea what "friend" meant. I used friend when I should have used acquaintance or contact. I would comment on how "____ is a great friend" or "awww, I love her" and Sean would respond "Have you even met her?" I realized in my brain, I really think I am best friends with all these people. I have learned that when I meet someone and feel connected, I am eager to pursue that new person. I want to spend my time with her and get to know her and get into her brain. Maybe I need to learn I am a stalker or a bit psychotic. I also learned I didn't have a real friend until I was 22. I had people who I knew and hung out with and did illegal things with. But when something hard came into the relationship, I jumped ship, or walked the plank into aloneness. I had no idea what it meant to be a friend, to have a friend and especially what it meant to fight for a friendship. In the last several years, I have learned that it is ok to say I love you, ok to confront, ok to say that something hurt me.

---Hang on, Cooper just got my gum out of the trash and I have a little mess to clean up.---

So I saw on some news show yesterday that the typical American has 9 friends to which I thought it would be 90! But again with the confusing acquaintance and friend. The average friendship is 3 years. The average age difference between friends is 5 years. The average person feels they have 0-1 best friends. I was flummoxed (I love that word). I honestly feel like I have 50 friends, granted I call them friend and they might remember my face. I have 7 best friends, three mid 20's, three in their 50's and one my age in 2 different states and 5 different towns. In addition to my girlfriends, I have the best, most creative, passionate, funny, loving, smart husband who is an incredible father and friend.

Because of all of this, I am more convinced of this than anything else, that we are just not meant to do this life alone. We are created to be in relationships, to love, to encourage and to receive. People do not get healthier the more alone they are. Healthy people don't aspire toward isolation.

As I began to learn friendship maintenance, I began to feel like I understand a little better things about my friendship with Jesus. I saw that there are things that I need to do, expect and give and through that began to experience life and life to the fullest. (John 10:10) So before I say go find a friend, know that honestly these are words I never would have thought I'd write. I am a person who cherishes aloneness and quiet. I am not at all one who meets people easily or comfortably. There was a period of time that I didn't even want to leave the house so friendships just weren't priority. I am such a huge believer in being mentally healthy and believe that friends are a huge prescription for that. I really wish everyone could have and be the friends that I have.

So, who is your best friend and why?