What up G?

I bought a new cellular telephone this week.  The old one is no longer with us.  It was a happy funeral.
 
Sadly I will miss all my old contacts.  They're gone.  I respond to every text message with, "now...who is this?"
 
I went AT & T, Cincinnati Bell, Verizon and Cricket.

Verizon has the best coverage, Cincinnati Bell has some decent plans, AT & T has...an overpriced phone, and Cricket made me run home to take a shower.  They had a t-shirt on their wall (among many others) that said, "I fart on first dates".  So there's that...

Apparently 3G is a big deal for these guys.  Three of the four claimed the most users in Cincinnati (Verizon) and they all claimed the best customer service (Flavor's Eatery).  Apparently it's a cutthroat competition among cellular telephone carriers.

I've stumbled upon a brilliant marketing for the little mom and pop company to take over the top position on the mobile phone market - 7G's.  It's more than double the G's at the same price.

Seems so simple - more G's.  We crave the G's and I think it's high time someone gave us those G's...the country is crying out for those darn things. 
Think of the children...