If you were a dog, what are you thinking about?
Sure I'd want all the kibbles you could throw at me if I was a dog...but bits? I mean...come on...we can do better people.
My New Year's plans?
Three words - Ryan Seacrest on television
Anything confusing about going to the gymnasium?
1. Old guy on the treadmill wearing jeans. I gotta think chaffing would enter the equation
2. Different old guy sitting on a bench un-ironically wearing a white terry cloth headband and staring at the mirror for upwards of thirty minutes. If anyone would notice how insane that look is, wouldn't it be him?
Oscar predictions?
I predict the awards show that catches guff for going too long still won't realize that adding five best picture nominations to the show actually makes it longer. I predict two Kanye West jokes. I predict Quinton Tarantino will wear a really ugly tuxedo. I go along with Clubber Lang in my prediction of pain. I predict Christopher Waltz will win best supporting actor.
Anything new in your life fella?
Some of my friends promised to get married this past week. Brad and Leah are getting a cool sister legally, and Katy gets to see Steve cringe at family functions when everyone wears Steeler's jerseys.
Also, the word guff.
Last words?
yes...you're welcome
I'm taking the under on Kanye.
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