If you were a dog, what are you thinking about?
Sure I'd want all the kibbles you could throw at me if I was a dog...but bits? I mean...come on...we can do better people.
My New Year's plans?
Three words - Ryan Seacrest on television
Anything confusing about going to the gymnasium?
1. Old guy on the treadmill wearing jeans. I gotta think chaffing would enter the equation
2. Different old guy sitting on a bench un-ironically wearing a white terry cloth headband and staring at the mirror for upwards of thirty minutes. If anyone would notice how insane that look is, wouldn't it be him?
I predict the awards show that catches guff for going too long still won't realize that adding five best picture nominations to the show actually makes it longer. I predict two Kanye West jokes. I predict Quinton Tarantino will wear a really ugly tuxedo. I go along with Clubber Lang in my prediction of pain. I predict Christopher Waltz will win best supporting actor.
Anything new in your life fella?
Some of my friends promised to get married this past week. Brad and Leah are getting a cool sister legally, and Katy gets to see Steve cringe at family functions when everyone wears Steeler's jerseys.
Also, the word guff.