Thursday, January 22, 2009

Viral

I've decided to make a viral letter.  I'm going old school with this.  Viral videos have been done, that's so 2004.  I'm going nostalgic.  I'm playing the game they way they did in Agnew's day and throwing a saliva sealed stamp on an envelop before handwriting an address.

This thing is going to be huge. 

There are a few key things you want in a viral letter:
1.  Some sort of threat
or
2.  Some bit of hope of something better
3.  Fake statistics
4.  A reference to an obscure 80's celebrity

Dear Joe,
   I'm sure by now you've heard about the skyrocketing cost of cable tv and blue star ointment.  If you would like to kiss those problems goodbye and live the life you've always wanted, simply send this letter to 19 friends/co-workers/relatives or neighbors.  Keep in mind that Herve Villachez received this letter as a young child and refused to send it to even one friend/co-worker/relative or neighbor.  He stopped growing that very day.  Do you want to have the same thing happen to you...or worse?
  I didn't think so.  Over 14% of the people who send out a letter within fifteen minutes of receiving one win at least $17,000 in cash and prizes.
  Do you hate cash and prizes?
I didn't think so.
  I have no idea why you're still reading this letter and not getting addresses.  Maybe you do hate cash and prizes...
  It's up to you.
Merril Hoge

2 comments:

  1. Was Herve Villachez's name in the original letter that he received when he was a child because I think that would cause a disturbance in the space time continuum and tear a hole in the Universe.
    Did you know that 100% of letters you receive from the future referencing you in the present were written by God himself. No, not Barack Obama... the real God. Of those letters none were delivered by any carriers or delivery services that weren't UPS.

    this post sponsored by UPS
    UPS. WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?

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  2. I hear God has a major interest in UPS, that is why only his letters are delivered by them. that would also explain the fall of DHL. Man If only I knew what stocks God was buying so I could get in on that action. Talk about cash & prizes...

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