Monday, September 15, 2008

As Amish As I Wanna Be

I'm powerless.

Sans the electricity.

Our power is out and we counted 63 trees that had been knocked over within 5 miles of our house. Luckily our landscape is marked mostly by dead grass and weeds...and we're largely treeless.

Tiles are flying off of houses a dozen at a time. Our roof looks like a checkerboard. We came home - before it got really windy - and saw a patio deck umbrella across the street. It turns out that it was ours. Our umbrella was down and behind our house. It was behind the middle of the house. This means that the wind had to pick up an unraised umbrella, blow it in one direction...and then change directions to turn the corner...and then change directions again to bring it back in front of our house and across the street.

I've been studying the video our neighbors the Zapruders shot. I think I found where the magic wind blew in from that knoll across the way...the one with all the grass.

So we spent the night at Aunt Peg's and I'm trying to figure out how to get the 73 things I need to do in the next two days. The power company said we'd be without for three days. I literally called 34 people yesterday morning and told them to call me back - leaving my home number...which now won't work for 3 days.



  1. i used to say all the time, "i want to be amish". i digress. and i want electricity

    the guy on the radio station this morning said it could be up to a week now rather than 3 days.

  2. I have my power. I'm watching television as I type on my computer. WIth the lights on. It's glorious.

  3. Sounds like a good time for a rousing game of Stick-Figure-It-Out.

  4. I will take any excuse to go back to this joke. Never gets old.

    Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble:

    10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.

    9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

    8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

    7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"

    6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

    5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

    4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

    3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."

    2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."

    1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.