random

Two things that are impossible to do at the same time:

Sneeze and keep your eyes open.
Listen to gangsta rap and smile.
Go to the Opera and not look at your watch.
Run for political office and speak your mind.
Be a pessimist and enjoy life.
Say "Who Dey!" and look cool.
Be a Christian and hate people (Republican, democrat, gay, straight, short, tall, white, black, women, men, kids or even those people that don't say "thanks" when you hold the door for them)
Drink milk and watch Bob Saget.
I think that about covers it...