letter from 1989

I imagine what a note from my 1989 self would look like.

Dear Sean Michael,
    I've gotta ask you, are you serious about this Saget thing?  I can never tell if you're just messing with us or if you really believe he's the J. Edgar Hoover of the entertainment world.  Anyhow, I'm just wondering.  I also have a few comments. 
     You seem to be on that fancy home computer a lot, it seems like maybe you ought to recall our days in the weight room and our time outdoors.  Maybe worth a second look?

I'm not sure I'm all that fired up about the general condition of our car or our bank account, but both of those are probably salvageable with a little bit of effort.  I really thought this flying car thing would have taken off by now...pardon the pun...you do still hate puns, right?
 
I see the Steelers have continued to dominate the National Football League, but what's up with the Pirates?  I know it's not really a sport, but still...you'd think they'd at least try to put a decent team together.  Remember 1979?  We are family with Willie, Dave and Kent Tekulve?  I guess those were the good old days for both of us...
  
I should get going...remember the weight room and maybe throw in the occasional salad...
-Murph


P.S. great job on the smoking hot wife

Joe Wise

Happy Birthday to two of the greats in my world.
 
Both funny, smart, good writers and taller than the average American male.

One has starred on General Hospital and the other can't produce insulin worth a hill of beans.
 
I'm a better man for knowing these two friends.

 

So Happy birthday fellas...

(Jason, me, Joe & Dave with the not so young Brad Wise in our laps)

lather up

I had a delicious, yet soup-less, meal with some friends last night.  We eventually landed on the timeless debate about how to apply soap to your body during a shower.  It seems like every dinner party ends that way, doesn't it?
  
I should mention that I received all of my shower training from three primary sources:
1.  Episodes of M*A*S*H
2.  Common Sense
3.  TV commercials starring Mr. John Travolta
  
I made the mistake of mentioning that I apply the soap directly to my skin.  Dahmer didn't get looks of disgust like this when he first mentioned his eating disorder.  If I take a raw chicken milkshake, pour it over my hands while I'm doing a home colostomy, change Parker's pull up and then pick up a bar of soap to clean my bathing suit parts....I'd better lather that soap in one hand and then use that hand to apply it to the rest of my skin....This is what I was told.
 
I just figured that soap was the cleansing agent that took away the bad stuff.  You take the soap and apply it to the unclean areas of your personage...right?
  
I am not an animal.  I am a human being.

No points for first place

I think I entered four NCAA basketball brackets this year.  I paid zero dollars to enter and won zero dollars for winning....
 
Sadly I was 1 for 4 on the year.  I placed first, second, third and I don't know on the four brackets.  There was one bracket I entered that I can't find the results for this morning.
 
I actually picked different teams in each of the brackets for a few reasons.

1.  I had watched zero minutes of basketball going into the tournament (and still now including the tournament).
 
2.  I just started clicking the teams and didn't pay a whole lot of attention.
 
3.  The only consistent thing I did was pick North Carolina as the winner of the four brackets.
 
4.  I really didn't care enough to write down my picks or keep track of how I was doing.
 
As for the winner of my personal bracket that I put up on this here weblog?  It was young Edwin Buehler.  He placed 29 spots higher than NC, 27 spots higher than Murph owes me 8 bucks, 17 spots higher than Never Right! (possibly they should switch their name to almost never right) and 1 spot higher than Saget.
 
It was a banner year...

9:30 PM on The American Broadcasting Company

I know many of you are hosting Surviving Suburbia parties tonight.  I just have to cautiously prepare you for a few things that you always have to remember with a Saget joint.
 

1.  No matter how awesome a star is, sometimes if he doesn't get any support the show falls flat.  No matter how great the surrounding cast is it's still got to be like a pop warner team asking Ray Lewis to play middle linebacker.  You have a great player, but he may have murdered someone and they're still a bunch of kids playing offense.
  
2.  There was a short time where people were still wondering if America's Funniest Videos would be a hit.  It sounds ridiculous now, but there was actual talk of it not making it a second season.  Looking back we see that that would have been like filming Dumb & Dumber but never exploring the next level with Dumb & Dumberer (another Saget classsic)  Unthinkable, right?

3.  While we will hope and pray for a Stamos appearance, I think it would be distasteful to pull that one out before season two.

4.  Under no circumstance will we stand for any sort of walk on by that smarmy, scene stealing, hack of an actor, mr. big shot comedian showboat Coulier.
 
5.  We all get to someday tell our grandkids that we lived in the era of Full House, A.F.V, Half Baked and the Aristocrats....
 

list o' things

Things that need fixing around the Murphy household:

-our lawn - three years running now.  We've ignored it, worked on it, hired professional lawn fixers...and all for naught.

-our computer...I'm pretty sure it's possessed

-my jaw

-the look of this weblog...I have no idea how to have something awesome like Sags in the background.

-our couch...my brother and sister in  law gave it to us about five years ago when it was really beat up.  We have three kids...so you do the math
 
-our other furniture/carpet.  We bought a house with white carpet and two white couches..so you do the math.
 
-that little fan/vent thing in our upstairs guest bathroom.  It fell off when we had a new roof put on.  We didn't think it was a big deal...but it's really kind of annoying.
 
Solutions to our problems:

-I'm going to hire a college kid who is a computer expert to come over and fix our lawn while giving me advice about my tmj and mentioning that he does upholstery on the side.  I'll say, "that's crazy, because we need some work done on these couches." and he'll say, "Let me take a look...ooops, it seems I've stained your carpet...how about I replace that too?"  I'll say, "well it does match the vent/fan in our upstairs bathroom" to which he'll reply, "Hey, I love installing those...do you mind?"
 
and then I'll say, "while you're at it, why don't you fix my weblog!"
 
and he'll say, "you're a jerk, there's no fixing that thing" and walk away
 
Why did I have to push my luck!?

Nobody puts Baby in the corner

Looking for a way to stretch your entertainment dollar?
 

Wonder what it'd be like to see the Super Bowl one night and Sags in concert the next?

 

Well we all have that very chance tonight and tomorrow.

 

Tonight the 2nd grade class at Freedom Elementary is putting on a production of Bugs.  You will see young Kendrick Crawford dancing as a yellow jacket, and Griffin Murphy singing as an army ant.  Remember when you found out that Deniro and Pacino were starring in a movie together?  That was a mere forshadowing of what is to happen this evening.  Lennon & McCartney, Carrot Top & a hillarious prop, and now Crawford & Murphy...

 
Tomorrow evening the Q City Players will be doing improvisational "comedy" for a fundraiser to support Ballet Tech.
Cincinnati Ballet Tech 8PM - Friday- $5 at the door

6543 Montgomery Road
Cincinnati, OH 45213
513-841-2822

If we don't support dance, who will?

Coop

Four years ago today, Annie went into labor.  I remember calling friends and relatives and telling them that we were having a baby.

   

Several of them responded with, "yeah, yeah...April fools day...I get it.  Call us when you really have the baby" 
 

Apparently I'm the boy who cried baby.

   

If you're doing last minute shopping for Coop's birthday present yet, he tells me he wants a

GPS, a laptop, size 11 men's shoes & a flatscreen tv.
 
Sounds a litle bit greedy if you ask me....

cursed computers

My computers hate me.  I feel like John McClain on Christmas vacation ...my home computer is Alan Rickman and my work computer is Jeremy Irons.

This is a little side note, but if you could invent a kickable computer...I think you'd have a license to print money.

 
Second side note:  If you had a license to print money, you'd be sitting on a goldmine.
  
Last note, I promise:  If you're sitting on a goldmine, it's like you just came up with the world's first kickable computer.

Marching on...

I'm still working on my mini GPS devices for:
-remote control
-cell phone
-key chain
-all of Day's sunglasses
I just need to figure out how to make a GPS, and then how to get them attached to all of those items.  Once I've got that figured out, watch out ShamWow.
          
I've also had a couple of thoughts lately about the Sags biopic I'm hoping to produce.
I've always wanted a Who song as my inspiration anthem that brings home the emotional core of his life...but CSI has sort of ruined it for me.  I might just bring in Zach Braff to do the soundtrack.  Sags would of course play the lead, but I'm not exactly sure who should play Coulier.  Maybe pull in NPH?
   
And if I'm going to put a movie together, I'd find an excuse to put Jeff Goldblum and Morris Day in there somehow.
  
March seems like our most aggressive month name.  You've got a couple of nonsensical months, MARCH!, a few girl names and then they get all Roman and nonsensical again.  I'm just saying that in a fight, I'd take March over September any day.

Someone started a Greatest Movie Ever discussion the other day, and that one doesn't get old with me.  You think I'm kidding, but I honestly care every time someone starts throwing out the greats.  There's something about lists that appeals to me.