Thursday, April 05, 2007

I don't wanna be a cowboy


I think if I was a cowboy, I'd struggle with the outfits. I come home and immediately want to take off my glasses, shoes and put on some shorts...that's my routine.

If you're a cowboy, you come home - take off your cowboy boots, your vest, your hat, your holster, your chaps, and just try and throw on some shorts and not get made fun of by the other cowboys. Now if you're in a 1970's disco band, you could probably get away with throwing on some shorts...but if you're a real cowboy - I think shorts are disallowed.

When I come home I hit the button on my keychain that locks my car. They have to go into a smelly stable (that's never attached to the house with a door that goes between the two) take down the saddle, and then put their horse into a stall. On the other end, they don't have to pay near as much for fuel.

I know cowboy boots give you an extra inch or two in height. I get that everyday they get to play dress up. I'm sure there are a lot of moments where riding a horse is a lot cooler than a sweet 2001 miniature van. I also think it probably gets old. You end up being the guy with the convertible that really only opens the top when you have friends in the car. After a while, it's just more trouble than it's worth.

14 comments:

  1. Sean, that’s the difference between you and me.

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  2. Did you superimpose Shirk's moustache onto that guy's face?

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  3. I wanted to be a cowboy. Too bad my mean, non-sacrificing parents wouldn't let me get a horse. I learned to tie all the knots, got a merit badge in rife and shotgun shooting, a merit badge in horse riding, and I learned how to build a campfire with just a couple sticks.

    Yes, I spent all my own efforts learning those things for nothing because my cruel parents wouldn't get me a horse.

    Do you think I can hold them responsible for my maladjustment in life?

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  4. edit: my cruel, selfish parents wouldn't get me a horse.

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  5. Anonymous1:30 PM

    No, according to the newest societal ideology that many here embrace your maladjustment is all your fault. It doesn't matter that your horrible parents locked you in a green kitchen with a purple crayon, forced your feet into shoes that were too small or beat you with a hanger. Just get over it.

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  6. true. but at least they weren't afraid of what a purple crayon would do to my psyche.

    oh i'll get over it alright. just as soon as i get the goods. make out with me and we'll call truce.

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  7. wait a sec--you guys got crayons?

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  8. STACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hows the hand? We will miss the egg hunt in SC. We miss you guys. xoxoxox

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  9. Geeze Bragg...I think it may be time to let it go.

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  10. I can't let it go. I want so very badly to be with anonymous. the zeal, the passion, the absoluteness in everything she writes...completely hott.

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  11. Anonymous8:20 PM

    You're creepy Bragg. But not enough to silence me.

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  12. i'm not creepy. fuller is creepy. that guy stalks. i'm just trying my best to woo you via the internet comment thread thingy we got here.

    i'll take you to dinner. i'll take you out in grand fashion. you won't be able to resist.

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  13. Evidently I'm creepy enough to silence Sean. Now that's sad.

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