I just figured out how to make the Academy Awards not so incredibly boring.
You give all of the nominees two weeks to turn in their list of "thank yous" and then tell them to think up (or hire someone to think up) a great acceptance speech. So as they walk up to the stage, the screen will put up a list of all the people that the award winner is thankful for. They can make their spouses name bold, or a bigger font...they can thank their dog, their psychic, whatever - they just know that the more names they put on there, the smaller the font will have to be.
This way the winner will either just say, "thank you, this is quite an honor" and walk away...and the show will be two hours shorter - or they'll actually think up creative, funny acceptance speeches.
Genius
And then, they can show all of the nominees' thank you lists at the after show parties, the show recaps...whatever. Everyone is happy. There's no controversy because someone forgot to thank their director, husband, mortgage banker...it's all taken care of.
You give all of the nominees two weeks to turn in their list of "thank yous" and then tell them to think up (or hire someone to think up) a great acceptance speech. So as they walk up to the stage, the screen will put up a list of all the people that the award winner is thankful for. They can make their spouses name bold, or a bigger font...they can thank their dog, their psychic, whatever - they just know that the more names they put on there, the smaller the font will have to be.
This way the winner will either just say, "thank you, this is quite an honor" and walk away...and the show will be two hours shorter - or they'll actually think up creative, funny acceptance speeches.
Genius
And then, they can show all of the nominees' thank you lists at the after show parties, the show recaps...whatever. Everyone is happy. There's no controversy because someone forgot to thank their director, husband, mortgage banker...it's all taken care of.
Great idea! I can see a new controversy brewing, The front row is no longer the place to be. The farther back you sit the longer it takes to get to the stage, which translates to more names on your thank you list. Now we have Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholson, and Al Gore all fighting over the back row. That's entertainment, I'd pay my cable bill for!
ReplyDeleteI guess all the animated characters will have to sit in the front row. Let's face it, who are they going to to thank... their artist & their voice.
I would then be tempted to add odd names, names of people that I don't know, Names that would offend, & the entire list of people that Bart Simpson called Moe's for. Just to see who was watching.
I LOVE this idea...maybe Joan Rivers or Ellen could just read who won while the pics are being shown behind her. Then it won't take 5 minutes for people to walk down from the coveted back row..more time saved!
ReplyDeleteMaybe not Joan, she can't "crack" a smile...