Anyone?

Annie's day of birth will be celebrated on Monday.  She was born on June the 1st at approximately 3:15 PM (I say "approximately" because I honestly have no idea...but how cool would it be if I was right?).  There is honestly no gift that I could give her that would convey how much I love her.
 
Having said that, I still have to buy her something, wrap it...and then throw all the kid's names on it. To be frank, I'm a bit flummoxed.  I'm looking for a little help out there...so what do you think?

Why I'm not a scientist

If you put shiny stuff on your face, that'll attract the sun...and you'll get burnt.

This is why you don't put olive oil on your nose before a big volleyball tournament.  It's just simple math.

So how the heck does sun block work?  You slather all this creamy stuff on a kid's face and somehow they don't get torched.

It just doesn't make sense to me...

You think this isn't a conspiracy?  Well, you just keep on believing lemmings...just keep on believing...

Great Idea below

You want to raise a bunch of money?
 
Maybe you're going to Nigeria to drill wells and you'd like some support.  Maybe you're trying to fund a shelter or food pantry.  It doesn't matter - this idea is liquid gold and all you have to do is find a ladel to scoop it up.

Put together a Non Walk-A-Thon.

That's right, it's just what it sounds like.  You're going to put together a Non-Walk-A-Thon for folks to not walk in.

Benefits?
-You don't have to get the city to close off any roads
-You don't have to bring in an ambulance
-You don't have to line the streets with people trashing the roads with used paper cups
-You don't have to get up at the crack of dawn
-You can raise a silly amount of money

Negatives?
   um....?

Here's what you do.  You do exactly the same stuff you do when putting together the normal Walk-A-Thon.  You get sponsors & walkers (this is where you get all of your money).  and that's where it stops.  You don't have to worry about putting together a route sheet or figuring out parking.  You just watch the money come in.
 
Keep in mind that there is no real monetary value to the actual walking in a walk-a-thon.  In fact...there is a cost associated with the walking.  There is no cost associated with not walking.

If people want the t-shirt, sell them the t-shirt.  "I didn't walk at the Charity Non-Walk-A-Thon"  That's actually a more interesting t-shirt you've got there.

This is win-win.

Now go out and don't walk.

arrogance

I just watched Chopped on the Food Network and heard a young chef that had just been "chopped" say that the judges "didn't get it".
 
That's a great way of saying that you're better than someone else.

If you've written something that people don't like - it's not your inability to communicate a point...it's that THEY just DON'T GET IT.  If you run a meeting and people don't jump on board with your new idea...it's not that you didn't present a compelling case...it's just that you have to put up with a bunch of idiots that don't get it.
 
They're not as smart as you.  They're not as innovative, as ground breaking, as in touch with what's happening...YOU get it, they don't.  You're told all the time how good you are...so it's not you..it's them...the not-geters.
  
It's obvious.
 
And I wondered if this young chef would use that moment of chopage (it's a word) and grow from it, or just decide that it's them...and keep on doing what she's doing.
 
My own arrogance often keeps me from listening to other opinions.  It keeps me from accepting my flaws.  It keeps me from being more than I am today and it impedes my potential.  Maybe sometimes it's me that doesn't get it?

Post Not So Secret

There are a handful of online confessionals out there on the interweb. Post Secret is probably the most popular...at least until TODAY.

I'm going to get the party started by doing a not so secret confessional. I'm going to fess up to some of my most heinous crimes against myself, my family and humanity as a whole.

So here goes:

-I often will jay walk just because I can. Oh yeah, it's true.

-even though I've never voted for an American Idol, I still feel like I can complain when they don't do their jobs.

-more times than not I'll take a sip of a fountain drink- refill it - and then go to the counter to pay for it.

-I'm a man who stops and asks for directions. I ignore them, but I'll stop and ask'em

-when no one is looking, I hyperventilate and dream of people looking at me while I breathe normally

-Late at night I sneak out and stick half oreos on Fuller's windows

-I think OJ Simpson is one of the top 7 running backs of all time.

-I'm not afraid to insert a Q Tip directly into my ear.

This feels so great!  I'm alive!  I have no secrets!  You should really give this a try...

groupies

We have our medium sized group tonight.
 
Group is a funny world.  We have 15 people in ours and we really like 14 of them. 

The question is always what to do for the evening...
 
I went on a two day retreat about a week ago that was really good.  From the drive out to the lake house on, I was questioning almost everything we did.  We started in the van by telling our stories and immediately I was thinking, "can't we just talk about Saget or what's up with the swine flu?" 
  
We didn't. 
 
We told our stories...and now I know a little more about my team.  It was a good thing.
   
For two days it was like that.  I kept thinking, "can't we just cut out of here early?" but we never did...and it was always a good thing.  Our leader pushed us to do stuff that we (or at least I) didn't want to do...and it was always a good thing.  We got to know each other.  We pushed through uncomfortable and went into depth.
 
So that's the balance with small groups.  You want to push to do something that will challenge people, but you don't want the one person to say, "This sucks" or the whole group to throw grape seed oil in your eye and laugh as you try to rinse it out with water.  Oil and water don't mix.  That's really the lesson.  And quit it with the oil Scott!
  
So tonight we'll attempt to get a little bit uncomfortable together...and see if somehow that leads to a deeper sense of community.  Or maybe we'll just bond over the fact that group was awful?
  
And I was kidding about the 14 out of 15 people.  We like everyone, that's why we put the group together that way.  We sort of stacked the deck with this bunch.

can't live with it...

I recently read a short article about a group of people who pledged to not watch television for a while.
That's not necessarily that unusual, but the follow up was.
 
Nearly 100% of the people enjoyed the quality of their lives better without the TV.  That's somewhat surprising, but I've heard that sort of thing before.  What was more interesting to me was that nearly 100% of the people went back to watching TV.
 
A friend of mine just signed up for cable.  I told her she'd never go back to the rabbit ears of her childhood.  She said, "Are you saying I had big ears!?"
 
Annie and I didn't have cable in Middletown, but in State College it was the law.  You couldn't really get even one channel in the mountains without some sort of cable-like helpl.  I had one friend in the entire town that didn't have cable.  He had his in-laws record the shows he wanted to watch on their VCR.  He'd highlight the shows in a tv guide and then they'd become the world's slowest Tivo for him.
 
On a side note - it's much easier to say "I tivo'd it" than "I dvr'd it"  that's all...
 
That crazy television - You can't live without it...but it's also hard to really LIVE with it.

no news is good news?

News seems like a lazy word.  At some point someone said, "Hey, what's new fella?" and the aforementioned fella answered, "oh, you mean the news" 
First guy:  News?
Fella:  Sure, I've taken the word "new" and added an "s" to it.  I've pluralized the word new to news.  It's what's new....s...
First guy:  Like that'll ever catch on.  That's just stupid, or should I say stupids.
 
And somehow the plural version of new became the word we use to convey what's happening that's new.
 
Having said that - here's some news for you...
 
-I still am really bad at golf
-I'm undefeated in the 2000's in thumb wrestling, but Annie and I have lost twice at euchre
-I've seen less movies in the past three years than my older brother saw last week
-Bragg still less hair than me, but I'm catching up
-My silent partnership has been more silent than normal due to the economy.  It is because of the economy, right?
-A genuine excited smile from Cooper is still worth more to me than $732
-If you don't think Brad has the best pump fake on the Vineyard 30 and over football team, well we're going to have to fight mister
-Annie is undefeated at pop-a-shot in the past three years
-Annie has played Alton in pop-a-shot at least three times in the past three years
-If you'd like to invest in a local independant film, I know a guy
-if you count sheep, you're exercising both sides of your brain...and that'll make you drowsy....I know stuff...

it starts at home

I'm suffering for the greater good today.  I'll be eating lunch, playing 18 holes at a local country club...and then eating dinner with some friends at a Young Life golf outing soon.  Oh sure they'll give me some sort of gift bag...there'll be people driving around the course with golf carts full of drinks and candy bars...and at some point we'll be given prizes.
 
But it's all about the charity.  Think of the children.
 
I play golf once a year typically.  Today is that once.  I'm actually not that into it and normally get bored about six or seven holes (or 56 swings).  I like this golf outing because I always share a cart with the director of the YL area and I'd much rather drive around and hang out with him than shank balls into the lake.
 
I think their ministry in Northern Kentucky is amazing.  You just don't find many people who are willing to step away from their comfort zone and go to where the kids are - they do that and it's an honor to support them.
 
Speaking of long walks - our small group is taking a hike this Memorial day to support the Healing Center.  For every walker who signs up, the Free Store Food Bank is donating 140 pounds of food.  That's a lot of cabbage...or bread...or ring dings...I actually don't know what food will be allocated...it's not really the point.  If you'd like to join us, we had a blast last year...and you can too....you know...this year.

My Self Worth

I ran across a site that sort of intrigued me...so I hopped right in.  (Coincedentally, this is how I funded my retirement through a rich lawyer in Nigeria and started selling Amway)

The site is Google's site ranker.  You throw your site up there and they spit out a number.  Turns out I'm a 4.  That's 4 out of 10.  I wasn't sure if Google graded on a curve, so I checked out a few sites I enjoy.  Seth's weblog is a 7.  It's also great, so you should check it out.
 
Google ranked Google a 10 out of 10.  I'd understand it if Google's mom ranked it a 10, but Google?  Come on...you gotta at least knock one point off to come off a little unbiased.
 
Ultimately I'm not sure how great this ranker is, it gave www.bobsaget.com a 5. 
Silly Google.