I'm on call right now. At any point I can be called upon to serve and protect. More serve probably...not so much protect. It's not that I'm against protecting, that's just not part of my gig.
And then I'm on call to perform comedy with the Q City Players. We have an out of state gig...and you should know that when I say gig, I don't really know what I'm saying, and also feel kind of dumb. Either way, we'll be making up stuff in front of a bunch of people. This is sort of like being on call, except it's a lot more pressure and it's possible that you'll end up wetting yourself in the process.
This weekend I'll be on call Saturday AND Sunday.
All this to say, you're in good hands America. I've got you covered.