Thursday, September 23, 2010

Fixing the economy

I know a lot of people are struggling right now and I figured it's probably time I back up the dump truck and let out some knowledge.

As far as retirement, don't worry about it - Social Security will take care of that for you.  If there's one thing we can depend on when it comes to sound economic stewardship - it's the United States Government.

Having said that - how do I invest my money now Sean?
Great Question
One word
Newspapers.

I'm looking at the New York Stock Exchange (way better than the New Jersey one) and every major publicly held company that controls a newspaper is down right now.  Simple law of physics - what goes down must come back up.  I see a BIG future for newspapers.  Follow me....all the way to the bank!

Where should I get the money to invest in newspapers Sean?  May I call you Sean?
Well some people call me Murph and some Sean Michael...but really anything you like.
O....K....um....so where should I get the money?
Right - Checks Cashed.  They have one on almost every corner of a good city.  They'll let you borrow money from them - it's simple.

So in short - you borrow money from Check Cashed - you put it into Newspapers - you get rich and buy a series of cars that turn into boats...and you live like the Huxtables!

You're welcome.


2 comments:

  1. Christopher Day9:46 AM

    I almost feel like this post is satire sprinkled with a hint of irony and dabbed with sarcasm. Oh well, whatever. I'm off to Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself (which I secretly think would be a great name for a check cashing place) and then to buy as many shares of NY Post as I can. Huffington Post? Something that ends in Post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just another one of Sean's numerous, yet little known gifts...a financial wizard! Who knew?

    ReplyDelete