Thursday, May 06, 2010

Do I have lupus? is an actual site on the world wide web.

Thanks to our government I'm fairly certain that I don't have lupus...but I've got something bugging me lately.

Here's where you come in. 

When I run at the indoor track at Urban Active, my right hand gets numb.  It's also the hand that I'm using to hold my internet touch.  It hurts when I'm waiting for a new muffler and I'm sitting in the lobby holding it too...

I've also noticed that I get chest pain when I put it in my shirt chest pocket.

Is Apple trying to kill me?  Be honest with me.

When I put my laptop on my lap as I sit on the couch and write legs start hurting me.  If I type away for a good chunk of the day (as I was doing sending out electronic mail yesterday) my hands start to hurt.

Is Bill Gates trying to kill me?

Anyone know House?


  1. it sounds like your body hurts when you do stuff. maybe you should stop doing stuff. does it hurt when you eat a delicious omelet?

  2. Ummm...are you being serious?

  3. Steve,
    serious like a lupus attack

  4. i'm pretty sure bill gates is not trying to kill you. but i know for certain apple is trying to bankrupt me! damn those user friendly computer gadgets!

  5. Yikes! Have you had a physical lately? Either you are about to have a heart attack or the "simulated heart attack" app that comes standard with your Itouch was accidentally activated. The only way to turn it off is to stomp your Itouch into 1/4" size pieces on the ground, take it into the genius bar in a baggy, drop it on the counter and with wide crazy eyes, through clinched teeth say; "If you freaks want to kill me you're going to have to do it yourself." At this point they'll ask you if you've made an appointment to which you will reply, "Yes. Dave said he wouldn't be my friend anymore if I didn't schedule an appointment for a physical with my doctor."
    Do It!