Things I learned on Vacation

If I was going to give you advice on how to plan and enjoy your vacation, I'd point to just a few keys to the whole deal:

-Tops on the list to any succesful vacation is asking your Aunt Debbie to stay at one of her houses in a resort area.

-You might also throw a roll of paper towels in the back of your miniature van for spills.

There's a big dropoff after those two gems.

I will say that it's fun to eat at a few restaurants owned by Food Network Stars.  Keep in mind that you pay 12-140% more for a meal, but it'll be a good one.

The ocean is a good bet.  It's free - beautiful - you can people watch and/or whale watch - you can kill animals (starfish, sanddollars, etc.) or be killed by animals (sharks, stingray, deranged postal worker, etc)

If you can't make it to the ocean, then you should at least rent Point Break and eat a sour patch kid every time Bodhi risks his life or punches Keanu.

I should work for Fodors...