911

So the Q City Players had their first ever public performance/gig/show/small little three scene deal performed to the masses.

And by masses, I counted somewhere in the double digits. Barely. It was a teen at least...

I'm not sure our performance was Oscar worthy - but that's because it wasn't a film...or that awesome. It was solid. "And the Oscar for most solid performance in a non film goes to..."

Our director is a two time cancer survivor so we all thought it was appropriate to perform at the Wellness center of Cincinnati in front of other cancer survivors. I guess in the long run I'd rather make a cancer survivor laugh than some drunk guy who keeps yelling, "Porn" every time you ask for a subject from the audience.

Then again, when the audience was asked for a suggestion of a famous historic event, a guy yelled out 911!

And if there's anything you can make fun of it's 911. I was wondering if we could do the Holocaust, or maybe the Kent State massacre...but I guess 911 is a little more now.

So we've got one under our belt and we're officially a troupe.

I've never been in a troupe. I've been on teams, in groups, a leader of committees...but because of my reluctance to join the Boy Scouts....I've been denied access to a troupe for most of my life.

I'm pretty glad this group is my first troupe - they're a pretty good bunch of people...

inspired by young Allison

My favorite food: The Herby Turkey on a toasted salt bagel

My favorite song ever: The Duke of Earl

My favorite song this year: God Bless ye - The Bare Naked Ladies

My favorite person to fight: Shawn Thomas over our dime store theology and sports

My favorite obsession: Bog Saget

My favorite restaurant: Chipotle

My favorite place to visit: State College, Pa.

My favorite TV show of all time: Ed

My favorite TV show right now: The Office/Ten Items or Less

My favorite color: blue

My favorite website: funnyordie.com

My favorite person to laugh with: Annie

My favorite sport to play: racquetball

My favorite movie: Pulp Fiction/Good Will Hunting/Schindler's List

My favorite holiday: this is like picking your favorite second cousin that you only see every other year and can't remember their name...they're just kind of there

My favorite candy: Sour Patch Kids

My favorite dead Beatle: George Harrison

My favorite last name of all my friends: Wygant

My favorite first name of all of my friends: Alton

My favorite child: seriously? what kind of question is this?!

My favorite improv group: The Q City Players

My favorite grocery store: Wegman's

My favorite friend that's a guy with a girl's name: Stacy

My favorite friends that have names that are also the full name of a famous female detective: Nancy and Drew Gillespie

The I'm just riding the band wagon sports figure: Tiger Woods

My favorite moment from yesterday: seeing Annie after work

My favorite movie to recommend that someone rent if they haven't seen it and love dialogue: The Big Chill

Second Favorite: Reality Bites

My favorite way to end this post: just sort of quit

I'm just sayin'

I never think of a restroom as a place of rest. I’m wondering how it ever got that name?

I wonder what the percentage is of kids who love clowns and if that negates the screaming night terrors of the kids who think they’re God’s way of punishing them for not hugging grandma?

I’m not sure that you could make a food product delicious enough to overcome the horrific smell emitted by a hard boiled egg.

doing pretty good

I was watching part of the show that uses lie detectors last night. They ask people increasingly more and more personal questions in an attempt to embarrass, shame or laugh at the victims...I mean the contestants.

So last night was apparently a controversial one. The host kept coming on and saying that he didn't want to show the episode...but he was going to...because they want to have high ratings...or something like that.

So the lady on the show had her whole family with her, including her husband. At one point the question was, "Do you have any secrets about your dad that you haven't told your mom?" and she said, "yes" and her mom stared icily at her dad. Awkward.

She was asked, "Have you ever been fired from a job for stealing money?" The crowd gasped. She said, "Yes I have" and they gasped again. So she's keeping secrets about her dad to her mom and steals.

It gets worse. They bring out her ex boyfriend who asks, "would you leave your husband for me?" and that's when her sister hits the gong to take that question away. As if you could erase that question from her husbands mind. He's sitting her waiting for her truthful answer...and he'll probably always wonder now.

Actually that's not true, because then they asked her if she was still in love with another man when she got married. She said, "yes"

They asked her if she ever went out with the girls and took off her ring so that she'd appear to be single. She said, "yes"

They asked her if she's slept with anyone else in the last two years of her marriage. She said "yes"

They then asked, "do you consider yourself to be a good person?"

Now we don't know her. All we know is that she's cheated on the husband in the two years of their marriage. You could argue that maybe it was a one time thing that just sort of happened because of some crazy circumstance...except that she also goes out with the girls and takes off her wedding ring. We also know that she's stolen from the people she works for.

We don't know much more. I'm guessing there's more great stuff in her life and there's more skeletons in her closet. We all have our junk.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our secret little past or present that weighs on us on some level.

It was just interesting to hear someone who had just admitted to cheating oh her husband of two years and stealing also thought of herself as a "good person"

This begs the question, "what makes you a good person?"

I hear all the time about the guy going to prison basically being a good person deep down. When someone does some awful thing, there's usually someone around who says, "well they really are a good person...they've just made a mistake"

Is it possible that deep down we're all flawed? Maybe you could say, "Sean does that thing for people, but deep down...he's not a very good person"?

The reason we have enough food to feed the entire planet every day but people still starve is....we're flawed in many ways.

Do you know why there are armies, police officers and laws? Well...because deep down we largely live for ourselves and that amounts to a lot of problems in this world.

I believe that we all love on some level. Maybe you just really love one person, and that person would be the person saying that you really were a loving friend/son/neighbor.

That's the interesting struggle for followers of The Way - they're called to not just love one or two people ("even the screw ups do that") but to love even our enemies.

I don't really know many people who do that. I see so much spite/anger/venom coming out of these conversations of people who are "tolerant" or "Open minded" when you bring up a political view that they don't agree with. They end up doing a really bad job at loving their political enemies.

I see so much backstabbing and negative campaigning from people competing for the same position on teams that are supposed to work together.

If we really were "basically good people" I'm guessing the world would be a much better place. Often we point to God and yell out "what the crap!?" but I'm guessing we should start pointing a little lower. Maybe we can take some of this on ourselves?

Linkin'

My best score on this so far is 22 seconds.

I found out about it here.

My favorite post there is this one.

He's often found making clumsy passes at this guy.

Who works with this guy.

Who recently linked to one of my favorite blogs written by a guy I'll never meet.

He's performed with this group.

Who were in town performing at a brach campus of the University where this fella teaches.

Who used to live with this young pilot in training.

And neither of them could get beat my score of 22 seconds on this.

just wondering...

Could you make the argument that kids in the south are smarter, or at least more educated, than the kids up north who miss so much school because of the snow?

or

Is it possible that the kids up north are smarter because on snow days they're getting a mini home school experience? (home school kids generally test higher than the rest of us)

salmonella

I'm starting to see how one could develop OCD. I was watching a cooking show and saw this young lady rubbing e.v.o.o. all over raw chicken and then throw it on a grill pan. I couldn't help but watch her hands and wonder how she'd get the sticky death off of them.

I've always heard that if you touch raw chicken, it's just a matter of time before you get salmonella, your eyes start bleeding and you're shunned from society. Or something like that...

So this young lady walks over to the sink, like a good little bacteria fighter, and I can almost see the clear coated death on her hands. I picture the little nazi bacteria climbing all over those chicken massaging hands. She reaches over and spreads the poison onto the handle of the faucet and I can see them jumping all over the hot valve. She fools herself into thinking she's just won a major war with the salmonella - but it's only a battle - they're just waiting in ambush back at the hot water handle.

I then picture some sweet production assistant, "excuse me Rachel, but we didn't quite get that lighting right for when you flaumbe'd the corn cob" met with an ice stare and a quick, "Oprah would never treat me this way!" as she storms off the set. The production assistant tears up and turns her back to the camera guy that she's been trying to impress. She pretends that something is in her eye and goes to the sink. She wonders if she should go the next step with this ruse and actually turn on the sink to wash her eye out...

and we wait...

and wait...

and then she does it...she touches the death valve...and immediately starts vomiting up what is now a 23 minute snack.

So if you have the stuff on your hands and touch the handle and clean your hands...are you just putting the salmonella on the handle?

circle of sickness

And I'm back...I think.

4 out of 5 Murphy's were sick two weekends ago. And by sick, I mean there was physical evidence of the sickness....all over the place. I somehow made it through without getting too sick. I had a few days where I didn't feel well, but not enough to not work or go about my day.

One week later Griff was sick again, and then Annie,
Coop, Parker...and finally me. Really sick. Every hour for a bunch of hours through the night. It really wasn't as glamorous as you'd think.

Today I'm going to give living another shot. I've been up since 2 a.m., since I was in bed all day, and I'm ready to go about my day.

Sadly Annie might not be feeling great again. I saw Griff's Spiderman trash can next to her side of the bed...that can't be good.

My spideysense is telling me that I'll be trading places with that sweet girl today.

Herby Turkey

As I sat across the table from young Griffin Murphy and bit into my Herby Turkey sandwich - I couldn't help but think about what the perfect food day would look like.

First of all I think I'd go high fiber in the morning - because Oprah says to. I'm thinking instant oatmeal. For my money, the steak bagel at the local McFastfood restaurant is delicious...but then you smell like onion and upset stomach for the rest of the day. If you're going to have a great day of food, you'd better set up a foundation in the morning...

I'm thinking that lunch has to involve a Herby Turkey from Brueggers Bagels, on a toasted salt bagel (hold the lettuce). A diet coke from Frisch's with cherry added - and a chicken Caesar side salad from any of those chain restaurants (Max & Applebees...although Longhorn has delicious croutons.

Dinner has to be steak. Seems like a no brainer. I could make an argument for Damon's Ribs (I know about you crazy Montgomery Ribs folks - I'm just a K.C. bbq sauce man) and I'm just a big fan of some sort of garlic bread off to the side. If you're looking for a good pre-meal appetizer...loaded fries are always a treat.

For dessert you could do worse than a Chocó taco - but for you folks that like something not wrapped in a paper container (which takes out the order and butterfinger blizzard) you could always finish the night off with a piece of Bill Knaps chocolate cake and ice cream.

just an irk

So the question I had was - is it that you're not very smart or that you're selfish if you smoke while pregnant?

You want to say both, right? I'm going to say that it's ultimately a selfish thing. You probably are smart enough to know how bad it is, but above that comes the me factor.

just a thought motivated by a visual reminder of how crazy this world can be...