I wonder...

I wonder if it's possible to care about everybody? You'd genuinely be concerned about the lives of everyone you came in contact with. I'm thinking it's not. Maybe that's just me though.

I'm going to see over 400 people today. I just don't think it's possible to genuinely care about all of them. It's not like I wouldn't be alarmed by some tragic occurrence...it's just that in all likelihood, some of them are going to cry about something today...some of them will be depressed...some will be excited about something that I just don't care about or value.

It's just true.

I know a few people that seem to care about everyone they see. I just sort of doubt that. I have a friend that has a world class fake laugh. He's really fun to be around because he's always laughing. People love that. I just happen to know him really well...and I respect his sense of humor enough to know that often he's faking it. He admits it to me.
I wonder if people have fake caring faces. They might have a fake look of concern, a fake look of -I'm genuinely happy for you and a fake look of - awww I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

I guess some people probably do. Too bad, huh?

Maybe instead of trying to develop a fake laugh and fake looks of concern I can try and care for one extra person today. It's possible that it's something that you can develop. Maybe it's like lifting weights...at first it's hard to lift the bar up (for guys like Fuller) but pretty soon...after months of trying...you're lifting 250 lbs. At first you feel like passing out when you run a mile...and before you know it, you're running mini marathons. Maybe this is where those cheesy "God's gym" t-shirts came from???

Today I could stop focusing on me for a few minutes and take the time to get to know someone I'd usually just say hi to. If I take the time to think through, "How would I feel about what they're going through?" then maybe I'll have a little bit of empathy. It's funny how to develop empathy I have to think through how something would affect me.
It's sort of selfish at the core. Maybe we start from a selfish place and gradually begin to look at others needs???

Either way, I want to be more concerned with what's going on in the lives of the people around me. I just need to realize that right now I'm barely getting the bar off the bench...but it's a start.

Susan and Teresa

a haiku,

-

Here it is Susan

Teresa and you online

captured forever

standing on the shoulders of giants...the NY Giants that got blown out in the playoffs...

It's odd to me when people say, "let's talk off line about that".

I sat down and talked with a guy last week that's kind of a big deal....written a bunch of books...that kind of thing. He said that I had the gift of "turnaround". This was based on almost no conversation or his having any real idea of what I'm about. His thinking was that I could go into a situation and help to turn things around. I hadn't said anything about anything at this point...just, "how are you doing?" something like that...and he told me he "saw the words turn around over my head" I wondered if he saw something scary behind me...
Anyhow, he felt like that was my gift.
That gift sucks.

I used to say that the hardest thing we do is start a new work. There's no objective standard, nothing to point to, no momentum. It's just incredibly difficult. I used to say that...until I had to help turn around a situation.

If you do that...the objective standards are often wrong. The momentum is going in the wrong direction....and the things you can point to are all bad. The problem is that's how people have been living...that's been the way that they were taught. They might have even seen some pretty good stuff come out of it.

The problem here is that GOOD is often the enemy of the BEST.
"but we've always done it that way" "that worked when we did it that way"
It's hard to convince people that there's a better way.
You sound arrogant, judgmental, jerky...

It's no fun.

I don't want to be the turn around guy. I want to be the "on board" guy.
That Sean, he's always on board with everything. He's the "go along" guy...

I've become a volunteer for something that I'm really excited about. I have (or had) incredible hope for this deal. And it's just not great. It's close. It has great possibilities. But it's just not there yet.
and it's not going to change.
I'm not in charge of it - and really have no hope of helping it to be a little bit better...and that kills me.

It makes me want to reinvent the wheel. I want to take the basic concepts of this thing and turn it around. I want to rename it something...so no one will have goofy ideas of what it should look like...and do it right. I want to start it over.
I really really do.

And I can't.

that just sucks. I find solace in the fact that I'd probably just screw it up anyway...

XXX

Some guys from xxxchurch.com came to our church today. These guys have the #1 rated Christian porn site in the world. Basically, they talk with folks who struggle with porn...and their web site has resources that you can download. They have software that you can sign up on that sends an accountability partner periodic e-mails letting them know of any web sits you visit. You just have to pick one or two friends to be your accountability partner.
Sounds a little like big brother...but is it big brother if you invite them in?

It sounds more like living unashamed...or free...or out in the open.

I was impressed to hear these guys say that they go to the biggest porn convention in the world and set up a booth. People laughed at the ridiculousness of these two Christian guys setting up shop in the midst of the craziness. It didn't make sense...even to a largely Christian audience.

You gotta wonder where Jesus would be hanging out.

He tended to hang out with prostitutes, drunks, screwballs, crooks...people like me. He WENT to them. He didn't bring in a big band, have the world's largest pizza party or hook people into coming to a basketball game where he'd preach at them during halftime. He just went to them. He was in their world. He was in our world, I should say. That was his "method".

His strategic plan for setting up a church looked like this:
1. go to people
2. get to know them

I think he'd probably stop by the porn convention. Probably on his way to the casino...or to the all you can eat buffet (did I mention it was in Vegas?)

Bottom line - He hung out with screwballs...and that just makes sense.

That's the only hope a guy like ma has...

don't fence me in...

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this. Emergent/Postmodern 82% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 71% Fundamentalist 71% Neo orthodox 64% Reformed Evangelical 61% Classical Liberal 57% Charismatic/Pentecostal 50% Roman Catholic 43% Modern Liberal 39% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

ok, we get it...

So I occasionally bump into this guy that seems to always bring the conversation around to the subject of beer. I've got no problems with beer...I understand that people like it...but every day....you gotta talk about it?
It'd be odd if every day I said to him, "Yeah, I'm going out to get a big mac with the fellas tonight. We should go get some big macs some time. I just loves me some big macs"

There are these old ladies that do laps at the Y where it takes fifteen laps to equal a mile...so they carry these little counters so they don't lose track of how many laps they've done.
In high school we were like that. We'd spend the night counting how many beers we drank. We'd also add two or three to the tally just to keep up appearances.
"Dude, I've already had 17 beers tonight!"
Then for the next week we'd wedge into conversation how many drinks we'd had.
"So how was the math exam?"
"It wasn't too bad...it would have been easier if I hadn't had 28 beers last weekend!"

In college there were always guys that didn't really go to parties in high school that were playing catch up...so they'd say the same things you'd hear in high school.
"Dude, I was out til three o'clock drinkinig with my prof...I had like 74 beers!"

really?

You still count?

Dude, I had 173 french fries and 17 ounces of ketchup!!

I sometimes wish I could go back in time and just invite them to one of the parties. It's ok. People like you. You don't have to keep track anymore.

I understand people drink because they're feeling lonely, it's their way of being fun, or they just like the taste...and that's their deal... but it's odd when they talk about it like it's some sort of athletic feat. It's like they need to tell us how much they drank because in their mind, it's not something that just anybody can do.
"I can talk to people because I drink beer"
really?
That's how you talk to people?

I know this sounds like an anti beer rant...but I promise you it's just an observation about teenage habits following us into our latter years. I get it. People drink...we have freedom. Jesus drank wine. I'm alright with the alcoholic beverages. I just worry about the poor people who don't drink.
On top of not being considered organic, emergent or relevent...they're stuck with the label of being an uptight fundamentalists...and have nothing to hang their hat on.
"I read 17 chapters of the Bible last night!"
really?
you still count?

Pops

I was at a restaurant yesterday and saw a dad and his 2 year old daughter playing. She was running around, making noise, spinning, literally sticking her nose in other people's tables...and he loved it. You could tell he was so proud of his little girl. It never occurred to him that she might be bugging other people trying to have a quiet meal.
He was beaming.

I can't read minds, but I'd bet a lot of money he was thinking, "they all think she's the cutest little girl they've ever seen" It was like he was glad to share her with us.
And she really was running all over the place.

I get like that. I forget that not everybody knows that Grif and Coop are God's gift to the world. Annie gets worried in public places if Grif runs around...but I really do think, "people love Grif...who wouldn't want him to come up to them and smile? It's like our present to the place."

It's a look for me at blind love...or a love that's so great that it blinds us to anything else.
It just doesn't occur to parents sometimes that anyone would be less than thrilled with their children...because they love them so much.

I know people struggle with the love of our Father because of goofy screwed up issues they have with goofy screwed up dads...but as a father, it's nice to know that our God is our Father...he's our dad...and he loves us enough to let us spin around and bug other people while they're eating.

a thumbs up kind of person

I think shaking hands it kind of random. You grab someone's hand and shake it?
Really?
That's what we're going to start conversations with?
You want me to grab his hand...and move it up and down?
o.k. Kind of weird though.

How about the high five? It's o.k. if you're passing each other in the hallway and neither person stops...but to face someone and then high five them...it just seems kind of cheesy.

Bumping fists - or giving a "pound" - or "Knucks" is ok if you do it sarcastically (oh you can do nonverbal sarcasm...come and sit at my feet while I teach you of this art grasshopper)

These all leads me to the thumbs up. I'm working hard to bring it back. It's almost painfully awkward (and I LOVE AWKWARD) but I'm going to keep at it until I see two different people in the same day do it...and not just to do it because it's me...but because they're trying to be a thumbs up kind of person.

That's what I'm all about. Bringing back the thumbs up...and the phrase "knuckle sandwich" ...and eventually Frank Stallone's career.
one day at a time...

the Aristocrats

Is it bad that I want to rent the Aristocrats?
I'm not talking about adding $4.25 to the corporate barons that are threatening the existence of all of humanity. I'm cool with that.
I'm talking about the movie that's always discussed with a focus on how many people walked out of the theater in disgust.

My basic problem is that I love all things comedy. Particularly stand up comedy. I read books by and about stand up comedians. I'm fascinated by their craft. I just love it.
This movie is all about stand up comedians telling the same joke. It's 100 different comedians (I think) telling the same joke with their different spin on it. It's considered a comedian's joke. A joke that can be told 100 different ways and you can prove your prowess by besting the last person who told it.

And it can get pretty nasty.

So you see my dilemma... There's some truth to the ol garbage in, garbage out. I know it's a cliche...and sounds a little church lady...but stuff just sticks with you. Our minds are powerful and feeding it junk tends to eat at it. That's why Christians get all riled up about the Last Temptation of Christ and others get mad at violence in film. Stuff just sticks...and people realize that.

A friend of mine was talking with a group of college guys who were talking about how hard it is to not focus on sex 24 hours a day. They're surrounded by it. So my friend ask them about the movie they were headed to...and it was your basic R rated teen sex movie. These guys never saw a correlation. They weren't surrounded by this stuff...they were paying $7 to go see it.
They were actually pretty proactive about being surrounded by it.

So there's my dilemma...

Did I mention Bob Saget is in this?

3 day weekend

I've often said I'm not one for vacations. I get too antsy. I need to be at least partially engaged in some sort of activity...and laying around the beach just doesn't do it for me. I'm also not a big fan of Disney. I like the regional parks with the better rides. Anyhow, I wasn't on a beach, at Epcot or on the Beast this weekend.

I was in the bathroom.

And then Griff started getting sick. It's amazing how guilty and sad you feel when your five year old gets sick because of you. And now Annie is getting sick. It's a scary feeling when your pregnant wife gets sick. And it all started with me.

I was talking with a friend lately about how some people tend to breathe life into a room. They can't help but make the people around them feel better. I have these obsessive moments where I tell everyone around me that they need to (fill in the blank) because I think it's the greatest thing ever (have you ever tried Rain X?) That's about as close as I ever come. I end up being an infomercial salesman for whatever I think is great. Not so much about lifting people up as lifting my ideas or things I'm excited about up...

It's just not the same. I'm more into my thing, or something...and not someone. I end up not breathing life into rooms because I'm too into myself. It's hard to breathe life into someone when you're focused on yourself. It just is.

It's one of those truths like, -it's hard to both hate and pray for someone at the same time. It might not be absolute truth...but it sure seems to work out that way.

So maybe I should feel bad/guilty when I walk into a room and people feel worse...it's just like being around my 5 year old and him getting sick because he came into contact with me.

Maybe that shouldn't be my focus. Maybe it should be that I'd feel better by walking into a room and helping to lift the spirits of those around me?

or maybe it's the medication talking...